NOTTING HILL

    ANNA
  I see.
   (pause)
  That reality is a real 'no,' isn't it?

    WILLIAM
  I live in Notting Hill.  You live in
  Beverly Hills.  Everyone in the world
  knows who you are.  My mother has
  trouble remembering my name.

    ANNA
  Okay.  Fine.  Fine.  Good decision.

 Pause.

    ANNA
  The fame thing isn't really real, you
  know.  Don't forget -- I'm also just a
  girl.  Standing in front of a boy. 
  Asking him to love her.

 Pause.  She kisses him on the cheek.

    ANNA
  Bye.

 Then turns and leaves.  Leaving him.

 INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT - DAY

 The restaurant is in the middle of being deconstructed.  The
 pictures are gone off the walls -- a kettle on a long extension
 lead is on the bare table behind.  They're all sitting there.

    WILLIAM
  What do you think?  Good move?

    HONEY
  Good move: when all is said and done,
  she's nothing special.  I saw her
  taking her pants off and I definitely
  glimpsed some cellulite down there.

    BELLA
  Good decision.  All actresses are mad
  as snakes.

    WILLIAM
  Tony -- what do you think?

    TONY
  Never met her, never want to.

    WILLIAM
  Brilliant.  Max?

    MAX
  Absolutely.  Never trust a vegetarian.

    WILLIAM
  Great.  Excellent.  Thanks.

 Spike enters.

    SPIKE
  I was called and I came.  What's up?

    HONEY
  William has just turned down Anna Scott.

    SPIKE
  You daft prick!

 Bella is casually looking at the painting that sits beside
 William.  It is the original of the Chagall, the poster of which
 was on his wall.

    BELLA
  This painting isn't the original, is
  it?

    WILLIAM
  Yes, I think that one may be.

    BERNIE
  But she said she wanted to go out with
  you?

    WILLIAM
  Yes -- sort of...

    BERNIE
  That's nice.

    WILLIAM
  What?

    BERNIE
  Well, you know, anybody saying they
  want to go out with you is... pretty
  great... isn't it...

    WILLIAM
  It was sort of sweet actually -- I mean,
  I know she's an actress and all that, so
  she can deliver a line -- but she said
  that she might be as famous as can be --
  but also... that she was just a girl,
  standing in front of a boy, asking him
  to love her.

 They take in the line.  It totally reverses their attitudes.
 A pause.

    WILLIAM
  Oh sod a dog.  I've made the wrong
  decision, haven't I?

 They look at him.  Spike does a big nod.

    WILLIAM
  Max, how fast is your car?

 EXT. TONY'S RESTAURANT - DAY

 Max's car arrives in the street outside.  They pile into the
 car.

    MAX
  If anyone gets in our way -- we have
  small nuclear devices.

    BERNIE
  And we intend to use them!

    MAX
  Where's Bella?

    HONEY
  She's not coming.

    MAX
  Sod that.  Bernie -- in the back!

 He shoots out of his door, rushes round and grabs Bella out of
 the chair.

    MAX
  Come on, babe.

 EXT./INT. CAR. STANLEY CRESCENT/NOTTING HILL GATE - DAY

 Max's car is shooting up Stanley Crescent.  We are inside and
 outside the car.

    BELLA
  Where are you going?

    MAX
  Down Kensington Church Street, then
  Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.

    BELLA
  Crazy.  Go along Bayswater...

    HONEY
  That's right -- then Park Lane.

    BERNIE
  Or you could go right down to Cromwell
  Road, and left.

    WILLIAM
  No!

 Suddenly the car slams to a halt.

    MAX
  Stop right there!  I will decide the
  route.  All right?

    ALL
  All right.

    MAX
  James Bond never has to put up with this
  sort of shit.

 EXT. PICCADILLY - DAY

 The car turns illegally right across Piccadilly the wrong way
 down a one-way street and ends up outside the Ritz.  William
 sprints into the hotel.  Bernie follows.

    BERNIE
  Bloody hell, this is fun.

 IT. RITZ LOBBY - DAY

    WILLIAM
  Is Miss Scott staying here?

 It is the same man.

    RITZ MAN
  No, sir.

    WILLIAM
  How about Miss Flintstone?

    RITZ MAN
         No, sir.

    WILLIAM
  Or Bambi... or, I don't know, Beavis or
  Butthead?

 Man shakes his head.

    RITZ MAN
  No, sir.

    WILLIAM
  Right.  Right.  Fair enough.  Thanks.

 He turns despondent and takes two steps when the Ritz Man stops
 him in his tracks.