NOTTING HILL

    MARIN
  I get your logic.  Demi-capu coming up.

 He salutes and bolts out the door -- as he does, a woman walks in.
 We only just glimpse her.
 
 Cut to William working.  He looks up casually.  And sees
 something.  His reaction is hard to read.  After a pause...

    WILLIAM
  Can I help you?

 It is Anna Scott, the biggest movie star in the world -- here --
 in his shop.  The most divine, subtle, beautiful woman on earth.
 When she speaks she is very self-assured and self-contained.

    ANNA
  No, thanks.  I'll just look around.

    WILLIAM
  Fine.

 She wanders over to a shelf as he watches her -- and picks out a
 quite smart coffee table book.

    WILLIAM
  That book's really not good -- just
  in case, you know, browsing turned to
  buying.  You'd be wasting your money.

    ANNA
  Really?

    WILLIAM
  Yes.  This one though is... very
  good.

 He picks up a book on the counter.

    WILLIAM
  I think the man who wrote it has
  actually been to Turkey, which helps.
  There's also a very amusing incident
  with a kebab.

    ANNA
  Thanks.  I'll think about it.

 William suddenly spies something odd on the small TV monitor
 beside him.

    WILLIAM
  If you could just give me a second.

 Her eyes follow him as he moves toward the back of the shop and
 approaches a man in slightly ill-fitting clothes.

    WILLIAM
  Excuse me.

    THIEF
  Yes.

    WILLIAM
  Bad news.

    THIEF
  What?

    WILLIAM
  We've got a security camera in this
  bit of the shop.

    THIEF
  So?

    WILLIAM
  So, I saw you put that book down your
  trousers.

    THIEF
  What book?

    WILLIAM
  The one down your trousers.

    THIEF
  I haven't got a book down my trousers.

    WILLIAM
  Right -- well, then we have something
  of an impasse.  I tell you what --
  I'll call the police -- and, what can
  I say? -- If I'm wrong about the whole
  book-down-the-trousers scenario, I
  really apologize.

    THIEF
  Okay -- what if I did have a book down
  my trousers?

    WILLIAM
  Well, ideally, when I went back to
  the desk, you'd remove the Cadogan
  guide to Bali from your trousers, and
  either wipe it and put it back, or
  buy it.  See you in a sec.

 He returns to his desk.  In the monitor we just glimpse, as does
 William, the book coming out of the trousers and put back on the
 shelves.  The thief drifts out towards the door.  Anna, who has
 observed all this, is looking at a blue book on the counter.

    WILLIAM
  Sorry about that...

    ANNA
  No, that's fine.  I was going to
  steal one myself but now I've changed
  my mind.  Signed by the author, I see.

    WILLIAM
  Yes, we couldn't stop him.  If you
  can find an unsigned copy, it's
  worth an absolute fortune.

 She smiles.  Suddenly the thief is there.

    THIEF
  Excuse me.

    ANNA
  Yes.

    THIEF
  Can I have your autograph?

    ANNA
  What's your name?

    THIEF
  Rufus.

 She signs his scruffy piece of paper.  He tries to read it.

    THIEF
  What does it say?

    ANNA
  Well, that's the signature -- and
  above, it says 'Dear Rufus -- you
  belong in jail.'

    THIEF
  Nice one.  Would you like my phone
  number?

    ANNA
  Tempting but... no, thank you.

 Thief leaves.

    ANNA
  I think I will try this one.

 She hands William a ￡20 note and the book he said was rubbish.
 He talks as he handles the transaction.

    WILLIAM
  Oh -- right -- on second thoughts
  maybe it wasn't that bad.  Actually
  -- it's a sort of masterpiece really.
  None of those childish kebab
  stories you get in so many travel
  books these days.  And I'll throw in
  one of these for free.

 He drops in one of the signed books.

    WILLIAM
  Very useful for lighting fires,
  wrapping fish, that sort of things.

 She looks at him with a slight smile.

    ANNA
  Thanks.

 And leaves.  She's out of his life forever.  William is a little
 dazed.  Seconds later Martin comes back in.

    MARTIN
  Cappuccino as ordered.

    WILLIAM
  Thanks.  I don't think you'll believe
  who was just in here.

    MARTIN
  Who?  Someone famous?

 But William's innate natural English discretion takes over.

    WILLIAM
  No. No-one -- no-one.

 They set about drinking their coffees.

    MARTIN
  Would be exciting if someone famous
  did come into the shop though,
  wouldn't it?  Do you know -- this is
  pretty incredible actually -- I once
  saw Ringo Starr.  Or at least I think
  it was Ringo.  It might have been
  that broke from 'Fiddler On The Roof,'
  Toppy.

    WILLIAM
  Topol.

    MARTIN
  That's right -- Topol.

    WILLIAM
  But Ringo Starr doesn't look
  anything like Topol.

    MARTIN
  No, well... he was quite a long way
  away.

    WILLIAM
  So it could have been neither of them?

    MARTIN
  I suppose so.

    WILLIAM
  Right.  It's not a classic anecdotes,
  is it?

    MARTIN
  Not classic, no.

 Martin shakes his head.  William drains his cappuccino.

    WILLIAM
  Right -- want another one?

    MARTIN
  Yes.  No, wait -- let's go crazy --
  I'll have an orange juice.

 EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD - DAY

 William sets off.

 INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

 William collects his juice in a coffee shop on Westbourne Park
 Road.

 EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD - DAY

 William swings out of the little shop -- he turns the corner of
 Portobello Road and bumps straight into Anna.  The orange
 juice,  in its foam cup, flies.  It soaks Anna.

    ANNA
  Oh Jesus.

    WILLIAM
  Here, let me help.

 He grabs some paper napkins and starts to clean it off -- getting
 far too near her breasts in the panic of it...

    ANNA
  What are you doing?!

 He jumps back.

    WILLIAM
  Nothing, nothing... Look, I live just
  over the street -- you could get
  cleaned up.

    ANNA
  No thank you.  I need to get my car
  back.