NOTTING HILL

    WILLIAM
  You'll be my date at my little sister's
  birthday party?

    ANNA
  If that's all right.

    WILLIAM
  I'm sure it's all right.  My friend
  Max is cooking and he's acknowledged
  to be the worst cook in the world, but
  you know, you could hide the food in
  your handbag or something.

    ANNA
  Okay.

    WILLIAM
  Okay.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 Bella and Max are in the kitchen.

    MAX
  He's bringing a girl?

    BELLA
  Miracles do happen.

    MAX
  Does the girl have a name?

    BELLA
  He wouldn't say.

    MAX
  Christ, what is going on in there?

 The oven seems to be smoking a little.  Then the bell rings.

    MAX (cont'd)
   Oh God.

 It's bad timing.  Max shoots out of the kitchen.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

 Max heads for the door impatiently.  He opens it and turns back
 without looking at William and Anna standing there.

    MAX
  Come on in.  Vague food crisis.

 William and Anna move along the corridor to the kitchen.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 Bella is there.

    BELLA
  Hiya -- sorry -- the guinea fowl is
  proving more complicated than
  expected.

    WILLIAM
  He's cooking guinea fowl?

    BELLA
  Don't even ask.

    ANNA
  Hi.

    BELLA
  Hi.  Good Lord -- you're the spitting
  image of...

    WILLIAM
  Bella -- this is Anna.

    BELLA
  Right.
   (pause)
  
    MAX
  Okay.  Crisis over.

 He rises from his stove position.

    WILLIAM
  Max.  This is Anna.

    MAX
  Hello, Anna ahm...
   (He recognizes her -- the
    word just falls out)
  Scott -- have some wine.

    ANNA
  Thank you.

 Door bell goes.
 
 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

 Max opens the door -- it is Honey.

    MAX
  Hi.

 She does a little pose, having worn a real party dress.

    MAX
  Yes, Happy Birthday.

 They head back along the corridor.

    MAX
  Look, your brother has brought this
  girl, and ahm...

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 They enter the kitchen.

    HONEY
  Hi guys.
   (sees Anna)
  Oh holy fuck.

    WILLIAM
  Hun -- this is Anna.  Anna -- this is
  Honey -- she's my baby sitter.

    ANNA
  Hiya.

    HONEY
  Oh God this is one of those key moments
  in life, when it's possible you can be
  really, genuinely cool -- and I'm going
  to fail a hundred percent.  I absolutely
  and totally and utterly adore you and I
  think you're the most beautiful woman
  in the world and more importantly I
  genuinely believe and have believed for
  some time now that we can be best
  friends.  What do you think?

    ANNA
  Ahm... I think that sounds -- you know
  -- lucky me.  Happy Birthday.

 She hands her a present.

    HONEY
  Oh my God.  You gave me a present.
  We're best friends already.  Marry
  Will -- he's a really nice guy and
  then we can be sisters.

    ANNA
  I'll think about it.

 The front door bell goes.

    MAX
  That'll be Bernie.

 He heads out into the corridor to the front door.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

 Max opens the door.

    MAX
  Hello, Bernie.

    BERNIE
  I'm sorry I'm so late.  Bollocksed up
  at work again, I fear.  Millions down
  the drain.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 They enter the room.

    MAX
  Bernie -- this is Anna.

    BERNIE
  Hello, Anna.  Delighted to meet you.

 Doesn't recognize her -- turns to Honey.

    BERNIE
  Honey Bunny -- happy birthday to you.
   (hands her a present)
  It's a hat.  You don't have to wear
  it or anything.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

 A minute or two later -- they are standing, drinking wine before
 dinner.  Bernie with Anna on their own -- William helping Max in
 the kitchen.

    MAX
  You haven't slept with her, have you?

    WILLIAM
  That is a cheap question and the answer
  is, of course, no comment.

    MAX
  'No comment' means 'yes.'

    WILLIAM
  No, it doesn't.

    MAX
  Do you ever masturbate?

    WILLIAM
  Definitely no comment.

    MAX
  You see -- it means 'yes.'

 Then on to Bernie's conversation.

    BERNIE
  So tell me Anna -- what do you do?

    ANNA
  I'm an actress.

    BERNIE
  Splendid.  I'm actually in the stock-
  market, so not really similar fields,
  though I have done some amateur stuff
  -- P.G. Wodehouse, you know -- farce,
  all that.  'Ooh -- careful there,
  vicar.'  Always imagined it's a
  pretty tough job, though, acting.
  I mean the wages are a scandal,
  aren't they?

    ANNA
  Well, they can be.

    BERNIE
  I see friends from university --
  clever chaps -- been in the business
  longer than you -- they're scraping
  by on seven, eight thousand a year.
  It's no life.  What sort of acting
  do you do?

    ANNA
  Films mainly.

    BERNIE
  Oh splendid.  Well done.  How's the
  pay in movies?  I mean, last film you
  did, what did you get paid?

    ANNA
  Fifteen million dollars.

    BERNIE
  Right.  Right.  So that's... fairly
  good.  On the high side... have you
  tried the nuts?

    MAX
  Right -- I think we're ready.

 They all move towards the kitchen.

    ANNA
   (to Bella)
  I wonder if you could tell me where
  the...?

    BELLA
  Oh, it's just down the corridor on
  the right.

    HONEY
  I'll show you.

 A moment's silence as they leave -- then in a split second the
 others all turn to William.

    BELLA
  Quickly, quickly -- talk very quickly
  what are you doing here with Anna
  Scott?

    BERNIE
  Anna Scott?

    BELLA
  Yes.

    BERNIE
  The movie star?

    BELLA
  Yup.

    BERNIE
  Oh God.  Oh God.  Oh Goddy God.

 The horror of his remembered conversation slowly unfolds.
 Honey re-enters.

    HONEY
  I don't believe it.  I walked into the
  loo with her.  I was still talking when
  she started unbuttoning her jeans...
  She had to ask me to leave.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

 A little later.  They are sat at dinner.  Bella next to Anna.

    BELLA
  What do you think of the guinea fowl?

    ANNA
   (whispering)
  I'm a vegetarian.