NOTTING HILL

    BELLA
  Oh God.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

 Moving on through the evening -- they are very relaxed, as they
 eat dinner.  A few seconds watching the evening going well -- Anna
 is taking this in -- real friends -- relaxed -- easy, teasing.
 And there's a cake.  Honey wears Bernie's unsuitable hat.  Anna
 watches William laughing at something and then putting his head
 in his hands with mock shame.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S CONSERVATORY - NIGHT

 Coffee time.

    MAX
  Having you here, Anna, firmly
  establishes what I've long suspected,
  that we really are the most desperate
  hot of under-achievers.

    BERNIE
  Shame!

    MAX
  I'm not saying it's a bad thing, in
  fact, I think it's something we should
  take pride in.  I'm going to give the
  last brownie as a prize to the saddest
  act here.

 A little pause.  Then William turns to Bernie.

    WILLIAM
  Bernie.

    BERNIE
  Well, obviously it's me, isn't it --
  I work in the City in a job I don't
  understand and everyone keeps getting
  promoted above me.  I haven't had a
  girlfriends since... puberty and,
  well, the long and short of it is,
  nobody fancies me, and if these cheeks
  get any chubbier, they never will.

    HONEY
  Nonsense.  I fancy you.  Or I did
  before you got so far.

    MAX
  You see -- and unless I'm much mistaken,
  your job still pays you rather a lot of
  money, while Honey here, she earns
  nothing flogging her guts out at
  London's seediest record store.

    HONEY
  Yes.  And I don't have hair -- I've got
  feathers, and I've got funny goggly
  eyes, and I'm attracted to cruel men and
  ... no one'll ever marry me because my
  boosies have actually started
  shrinking.

    MAX
  You see -- incredibly sad.

    BELLA
  On the other hand, her best friend is
  Anna Scott.

    HONEY
  That's true, I can't deny it.  She
  needs me, what can I say?

    BELLA
  And most of her limbs work.  Whereas
  I'm stuck in its thing day and night,
  in a house full of ramps.  And to add
  insult to serious injury -- I've
  totally given up smoking, my favourite
  thing, and the truth is... we can't
  have a baby.

 Dead silence.

    WILLIAM
  Bella.

 Bella shrugs her shoulders.  Bernie is totally grief-struck.

    BERNIE
  No.  Not true...

    BELLA
  C'est la vie... We're lucky in lots
  of ways, but... Surely it's worth a
  brownie.

 William reaches for her hand.  Max breaks the sombre mood.

    MAX
  Well, I don't know.  Look at
  William.  Very unsuccessful
  professionally.  Divorced.  Used to
  be handsome, now kind of squidgy
  around the edges -- and absolutely
  certain never to hear from Anna again
  after she's heard that his nickname
  at school was Floppy.

 They all laugh.  Anna smiles across at William.

    WILLIAM
  So I get the brownie?

    MAX
  I think you do, yes.

    ANNA
  Wait a minute.  What about me?

    MAX
  I'm sorry?  You think you deserve the
  brownie?

    ANNA
  Well... a shot at it.

    WILLIAM
  You'll have to prove it.  This is a
  great brownie and I'm going to fight
  for it.  State your claim.

    ANNA
  Well, I've been on a diet since I was
  nineteen, which means basically I've
  been hungry for a decade.  I've had a
  sequence of not nice boyfriends -- one
  of whom hit me: and every time my heart
  gets broken it gets splashed across
  the newspapers as entertainment. 
  Meantime, it cost millions to get me
  looking like this...

    HONEY
  Really?

    ANNA
  Really -- and one day, not long from
  now...

 While she says this, quiet settles around the table.  The thing
 is -- she sort of means it and is opening up to them.

    ANNA
  ... my looks will go, they'll find out
  I can't act and I'll become a sad
  middle-aged woman who looks a bit like
  someone who was famous for a while.

 Silence... they all look at her... then.

    MAX
  Nah!!!  Nice try, gorgeous -- but you
  don't fool anyone.

 The mood is instantly broken.  They all laugh.

    WILLIAM
  Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.

 INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM/CORRIDOR - NIGHT

 Anna and William are leaving.

    ANNA
  That was such a great evening.

    MAX
  I'm delighted.

 He holds out his hand to shake.  She kisses him on the cheek.
 He stumbles back with joy.

    ANNA
  And may I say that's a gorgeous tie.

    MAX
  Now you're lying.

    ANNA
  You're right.  I told you I was bad
  at acting.

 Max loves this.

    ANNA
   (to Bella)
  Lovely to meet you.

    BELLA
  And you.  I'll wait till you've gone
  before I tell him you're a
  vegetarian.

    MAX
  No!

    ANNA
  Night, night, Honey.

    HONEY
  I'm so sorry about the loo thing.
  I meant to leave but I just...
  look, ring me if you need someone to
  go shopping with.  I know lots of
  nice, cheap places... not that money
  necessarily...
   (gives up)
  nice to meet you.

 And Honey gives her a huge hug.

    ANNA
  You too -- from now on you are my
  style guru.

 Anna and William head out... Bernie tries to save some dignity.

    BERNIE
  Love your work.

 They move to the door and wave goodbye.

 EXT. MAX AND BELLA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

 William and Anna step outside.  From inside they hear a massive
 and hysterical scream of the friends letting out their true
 feelings.  William is a little embarrassed.

    WILLIAM
  Sorry -- they always do that when I
  leave the house.

 The house is in Lansdowne Road, on the edge of Notting Hill.
 They walk for a moment.  A bit of silence.

    ANNA
  Floppy, huh?

    WILLIAM
  It's the hair!  It's to do with the
  hair.

    ANNA
  Why is she in a wheelchair?

    WILLIAM
  It was an accident -- about eighteen
  months ago.

    ANNA
  And the pregnancy thing -- is that to
  do with the accident?

    WILLIAM
  You know, I'm not sure.  I don't
  think they'd tried for kids before,
  as fate would have it.

 They walk in silence for a moment.  Then...

    WILLIAM
  Would you like to come... my house is
  just...?

 She smiles and shakes her head.

    ANNA
  Too complicated.

    WILLIAM
  That's fine.

    ANNA
  Busy tomorrow?

    WILLIAM
  I thought you were leaving.

    ANNA
  I was.

 EXT. NOTTING HILL GARDEN - NIGHT

 A little later in the walk.

    ANNA
  What's in there?

 They are now walking by a five foot railing, with foliage
 behind it.

    WILLIAM
  Gardens.  All these streets round
  here have these mysterious communal
  gardens in the middle of them. 
  They're like little villages.

    ANNA
  Let's go in.

    WILLIAM
  Ah no -- that's the point -- they're
  private villages -- only the people
  who live round the edges are allowed
  in.

    ANNA
  You abide by rules like that?

    WILLIAM
  Ahm...

 Her look makes it clear that she is waiting with interest on
 the answer to this.

    WILLIAM
  Heck no -- other people do -- but not
  me -- I just do what I want.

 He rattles the gate, then starts his climb -- but doesn't quite
 make it, and falls back onto the pavement...

    WILLIAM
   (casually)
  Whoopsidaisies.

    ANNA
  What did you say?

    WILLIAM
  Nothing.

    ANNA
  Yes, you did.

    WILLIAM
  No, I didn't.

    ANNA
  You said 'whoopsidaisies.'

 Tiny pause.

    WILLIAM
  I don't think so.  No one has said
  'whoopsidaisies,' do they -- I mean
  unless they're...