Raising Arizona

FBI #2

Could you give us an indication why?

NATHAN

Yeah, would you buy furniture at a store called Unpainted Huffhines?

FBI #1

All right, I'll get to the point –

UNIFORMED COP

Was the child wearing anything when he was abducted?

NATHAN

No one sleeps nekkid in this house, boy! He was wear –

FBI #1

I'm asking the questions here, officer.

COP

If we're gonna put out an APB we need a description of the –

NATHAN

He was wearin' his –

FBI #2

It's just that we're better trained to intervene in crisis situations

(to Nathan)

What was he wearing?

NATHAN
A dinner jacket! Wuddya think, he was wearing his damn jammies!

FBI #2

(to cop)

The child was wearing his jammies. Are you happy?

FBI #1

Do you have any disgruntled employees?

NATHAN

Hell, they're all disgruntled! I ain't runnin' a daffm daisy farm!

COP

What did the pyjamas –

NATHAN

My motto is do it my way or watch your butt!

COP

What did the pyjamas –

FBI #1

So you think it might have been an employee?

NATHAN

Don't make me laugh. Without my say – so they don't piss with their pants on fire.

COP

What did the pyjamas look like?

FBI #1

(pained)

Officer –

NATHAN

(bellowing)

I dunno, they were jammies! They had Yodas'n shit on 'em!

BELLOWING VOICE OFFSCREEN

Would ya mind, I'm trying to set up a Command Post here!

Nathan bellows back:

NATHAN
Get your feet off m'damn coffee table!

Also raising his voice at the offscreen bellower:

FBI #1

Ron, you're upsetting the victim.

Nathan is getting worked up.

NATHAN
Damnit, are you boys gonna go chase down your leads or are you gonna sit drinkin' coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain't at?!

FBI #2

Sir, there aren't any "leads" yet, aside from this coat –

NATHAN

Gimme that!

He grabs the overcoat being displayed by FBI #2.

NATHAN

That's a five-hundred-dollar camel's hair –

BYRUM

Sir, you might want to wash your hands at this point.

Nathan realizes that he's gotten ink from his fingerprinting all over the coat.

NATHAN
Well goddamnit!

He is rising to his feet and hurling the coat to the floor.

NATHAN

... No leads?!

He furiously kicks the coat.

NATHAN

... Everyone leaves microbes'n whatnot!

Throughout the speech Nathan stalks the room, working himself into a frenzy, furiously putting coffee cups onto coasters, generally cleaning up, hectoring the police, and swiping their feet off his furniture.

NATHAN
... Hell, that's your forte, trackin' down them microbes left by criminals'n commies'n shit! That's yer whole damn raison d'i&tre! No leads?! I want Nathan Jr. back, or whichever the hell one they took! He's out there somewhere! Somethin' leads to him! And anyone can find him knows the difference between a lead and a hole in the ground!!

A HOLE IN THE GROUND DAY

Specifically, it is the hole in the muddy patch of earth that Gale and Evelle climbed out of. We hear only the squish – suck of many feet walking around in the mud offscreen.

We are pulling back to reveal the feet-the shiny black patent leather shoes and blue pants cuffs – becoming quickly spattered – of several policemen milling about the hole.

German shepherds sniff around also.

With a roar, motorcycle wheels enter frame. The bike's jackbooted rider casually tools around the hole once; police step back and dogs skitter away to give him room.

He backs toward the camera and stops, standing astride the bike. The burning stub of a cheroot is dropped into frame; it hisses angrily and dies in the mud. We start to crane up.

The whipcracking Biker cue mixes up. The Biker's motorcycle idles with a deep rumble, like the roar of fire on the sun.

We are now framed looking over the Biker's shoulder. The policemen's attitude to him seems to be deferential. One cop in front of him is pointing a direction. The Biker is shaking his head; he doesn't think they went that way.

Suddenly, with a loud whipcrack effect, the Biker's head snaps to profile. He is staring across the field, stock-still, having heard, smelled or sensed something.

The dogs milling around the hole also react, snapping to attention, a split second after the BIKER.

THEIR POV

A jackrabbit is bounding away at the far end of the field.

THE DOGS

After a moment, their attention returns to the hole.

THE BIKER

His attention also returns to the matter at hand. He squints, concentrating. His bike rumbles. Gradually his face sets in a specific direction.

We pan down to the tattoo on his shoulder: "Mama Didn't Love Me." His shoulder flexes once or twice as he revs the throttle; then he puts the bike in gear and it roars out of frame.

TRAILER KITCHEN CLOSE ON GALE AND EVELLE

They are both intently munching cornflakes, staring at something offscreen. After a beat:

EVELLE

... Awful good cereal flakes, Miz McDunnough.

THEIR POV

Ed is sitting in the living room, bottle-feeding Nathan Jr. She is surrounded by the rumpled sheets and blankets used by the house guests. She does not respond to the ice-breaker.

Gale puts his spoon down and picks up a cigarette which has been smoking in the ashtray next to him. There is a bead of milk dribbling down his chin.

He takes a contemplative puff, studying Ed.

GALE
... Whyncha breast feed him? You 'pear to be capable.

ED

Mind your own bidnis.

Through a mouthful of cornflakes:

EVELLE

Ya don't breast feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison.

Gale blows out smoke and picks up his spoon to start back in on his cornflakes.

GALE
Anyway, that's what Doc Schwartz tells us.

Hi is walking in, yawning.

HI
Boys.

EVELLE

Momin', H.I.

Sharply, as Hi sits and starts to pour cornflakes into a bowl:

ED

... Hi.

Hi holds the cornflakes box arrested in mid-air. He looks at Ed, who is motioning to gale and Evelle with her eyes.

HI

Oh yeah ... Say boys, you wouldn't mind makin' yourself scarce for a couple hours this afternoon?

ED
We're havin' some decent friends over.

Gale and Evelle are looking dumbly from Ed to Hi .

HI
Heh-heh... What Ed means to say is, seein' as you two boys are wanted, it wouldn't exactly do to have folks seein' you here – I mean for your own protection.

GALE

Sure H.I.

EVELLE

Anything you say.

More relaxed now, to Ed:

HI

Matter of fact honey, maybe I'll skip this little get-together myself, Glen won't mind, and I'll just duck out with the boys, knock back a couple of – uh, Co-Colas –

GALE

Sure H.I.

EVELLE

We'd love to have ya.

CLOSE ON ED

Looking pleadingly at Hi .

BACK TO HI

Feeling the look, he goes back to his cornflakes.

HI

... Well... maybe that ain't such a hot idea either.

Gale leans back to blow smoke at the ceiling.

GALE
(bitterly)

So many social engagements. So little time.

WIDE SHOT GAS STATION RATNROON

It is the bathroom where we earlier saw Gale and Evelle combing their hair, now empty.

We are looking toward the door. The bathroom is quiet except for the dripping sink, and the faint rumble of an approaching motorcycle. It grows louder, then begins to recede as the bike shoots by the station.

Suddenly we hear the screech of the bike's brakes.

EXT. THE STATION

We are on the road outside the gas station as the motorcycle screeches to a halt in the foreground. The low wide shot crops the BIKER at his shins. In the background behind him is the gas station.

The Biker pauses for a moment, thinking or feeling.

BACK TO INT. BATHROON

We hear the rumble of the bike approaching, very loud.

CRASH – the bathroom door flies open as the Biker bursts in astride his hog, bright daylight streaming in with him to throw him into imposing silhouette. The shafts of light pouring in are defined by motes of dust dancing in the air.

HI'S POV

Fast track in on the jar of hair jelly sitting on the shelf under the mirror.

BACK TO BIKER

An extreme close shot shows his nostrils dilating as we hear him sniff.

He revs the rumbling bike, stealing thunder from a far mountain.

FRONT STOOP OF TRAILER

Hi, with Ed standing by, is just opening the door to a young couple. Glen is a short stocky blond man in his early thirties, wearing Bermuda shorts. DOT is wearing slacks, heels, and a scarf over her hair.

HI
Glen, Dot –

As the door opens, Dot hops up the stoop shrieking.

DOT
Where's at baby? Where's he at?

From behind, Glen gives ha an energetic THWOK on the ass.

GLEN
Go find him honey!

Dot spins and smacks Glen across the face with her purse.

Through clenched teeth:

DOT
Cut it out, Glen!

He reels under the blow.

ED

(quietly)

He's asleep right now.

Dot shrieks again, but this time muffles it with her own hand. She tiptoes into the trailer, hand to her mouth.

Glen, rubbing his cheek, seems angry at himself.

GLEN
Shit, I hope we didn't wake it!

DOT

Can I just sneak a peek-a-loo?

Glen at the top of the stoop, turns out to the yard.

GLEN

Come on kids...

WIDE SHOT GLEN AND DOT'S KIDS

A scad of children, ranging in age from two to seven, are crawling over Hi's car. One is beating on it with a large stick, another sits on the hood pulling back one of the windshield wipers, etc.

GLEN

... Get away from Mr. McDunnough's car.

TRAILER BEDROOM

As Ed and Dot enter, Ed beaming as they go to the crib.

DOT
What's his name?

ED

Uh... Hi Jr. Till we think of a better one.

DOT

Whyncha call him Jason? I love Biblical names. If I had another little boy I'd name him Jason or Caleb or –

ED

Oh!

She puts her hand to her forehead, reacting to the baby as if she is about to faint.

ED

... He's an angel!

She hides her face in her hands and looks away as if blinded, then sneaks a look around her hands.

ED

... He's an angel straight from heaven! Now honey I had all my kids the hard way so you gotta tell me where you got this angel. Did he fly straight down from heaven?

ED

Well –

DOT

You gonna send him to Arizona State?

TRAILER LIVING ROOM / KITCHEN

The weaving knee-level tracking shot is following a six-year-old boy in shorts and a dirty T-shirt as he tramps around the trailer, brandishing a big stick. He strikes the walls, furniture, various other objects with his stick, hollering "Bam! Bam-Bam!" with each blow.

The track weaves off him and onto Hi, who is bending down to pull a couple of beers from the refrigerator. He raises his voice to make himself heard over the din of all the children boiling around the room:

HI
Need a beer, Glen?

GLEN

Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

Hi considers this.

HI
... Well yeah, Glen, I guess it is kinda funny.

GLEN

Say, that reminds me! How many Pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?

HI

I don't know Glen, one?

Hi looks down.

One of Glen's children, in a cowboy hat, is squirting a squirt gun into his crotch area.

GLEN
Nope, it takes three!

He starts laughing, then catches himself.

GLEN

... Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Pollacks to screw up a lightbulb?

HI

I don't know, Glen.

GLEN

Cause they're so durn stupid!

He laughs; Hi doesn't react.

GLEN

... Shit man, loosen up! Don't ya get it?

Hi looks over at the TV, which the bam-shouting six-year-old is banging with his stick.

HI
No Glen, I sure don't.

GLEN
Shit man, think about it! I guess it's what they call a Way Homer.

HI

Why's that?

GLEN

Cause you only get it on the Way Home.

HI

I'm already home, Glen.

The kid in the cowboy hat is reaching up to slap Hi on the ass.

KID

You wetchaself! Mr. McDunnough wet hisseff, Daddy!

GLEN

Say, that reminds me! How'd you get that kid s'darned fast? Me'n Dottie went in to adopt on account of something went wrong with m'semen, and they told us five years' wait for a healthy white baby! I said healthy white baby! Five years! Okay, what else you got? Said, two Koreans and one Negro bom with the heart outside...