Return of the Jedi

THREEPIO

(continuing)

... and a gift.

(thinks a moment, then to Artoo)

Gift, what gift?

Bib shakes his head negatively.

BIB

Nee Jabba no badda. Me chaade su goodie.

Bib holds out his hand toward Artoo and the tiny droid backs up a bit, letting out a protesting array of squeaks. Threepio turns to the strange-looking alien.

THREEPIO

He says that our instructions are to give it only to Jabba himself.

Bib thinks about this for a moment.

THREEPIO

I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid he's ever so stubborn about these sort of things.

Bib gestures for the droids to follow.

BIB

Nudd Chaa.

The droids follow the tall, tentacled alien into the darkness, trailed by the two guards.

THREEPIO

Artoo, I have a bad feeling about this.

INT. JABBA'S THRONE ROOM

The throne room is filled with the vilest, most grotesque CREATURES ever conceived in the universe. Artoo and Threepio seem very small as they pause in the doorway to the dimly lit chamber. Light shafts partially illuminate the drunken courtiers as Bib Fortuna crosses the room to the platform upon which rests the leader of this nauseating crowd: JABBA THE HUTT. The monarch of the galactic underworld is a repulsive blob of bloated fat with a maniacal grin. Chained to the horrible creature is the beautiful alien female dancer named OOLA. At the foot of the dais sits an obnoxious birdlike creature, SALACIOUS CRUMB. Bib whispers something in the slobbering degenerate's ear. Jabba laughs horribly, at the two terrified droids before him. Threepio bows politely.

THREEPIO

Good morning.

JABBA

Bo Shuda!

The robots jump forward to stand before the repulsive, loose-skinned villain.

THREEPIO

The message, Artoo, the message.

Artoo whistles, and a beam of light projects from his domed head, creating a HOLOGRAM of LUKE on the floor. The image grows to over ten feet tall, and the young Jedi towers over the space gangsters.

LUKE

Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo. I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo's life.

(Jabba's crowd laughs)

With your wisdom, I'm sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids.

Threepio is startled by this announcement.

THREEPIO

What did he say?

LUKE

(continuing)

... Both are hardworking and will serve you well.

THREEPIO

This can't be! Artoo, you're playing the wrong message.

Luke's hologram disappears.

Jabba laughs while Bib speaks to him in Huttese.

JABBA

(in Huttese subtitled)

There will be no bargain.

THREEPIO

We're doomed.

JABBA

(in Huttese subtitled)

I will not give up my favorite decoration. I like Captain Solo where he is.

Jabba laughs hideously and looks toward an alcove beside the throne. Hanging high, flat against the wall, exactly as we saw him last, is a carbonized HAN SOLO.

THREEPIO

Artoo, look! Captain Solo. And he's still frozen in carbonite.

INT. DUNGEON CORRIDOR

One of Jabba's Gamorrean guards marches Artoo and Threepio down a dank, shadowy passageway lined with holding cells. The cries of unspeakable creatures bounce off the cold stone walls. Occasionally a repulsive arm or tentacle grabs through the bars at the hapless droids. Artoo beeps pitifully.

THREEPIO

What could possibly have come over Master Luke. Is it something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my work. Oh! Oh! Hold it! Ohh!

A large tentacle wraps around Threepio's neck. He manages to break free, and they move on to a door at the end of the corridor.

INT. BOILER ROOM

The door slides open, revealing a room filled with steam and noisy machinery. The guard motions them into the boiler room, where they are met by a tall, thin humanlike robot named EV-9D9 (EVE-NINEDENINE). Behind the robot can be seen a torture rack pulling the legs off a screaming baby work droid. A second power droid is upside down. As smoking branding irons are pressed into his feet, the stubby robot lets out an agonized electronic scream. Artoo and Threepio cringe as the guard grunts to EV-9D9.

NINEDENINE

Ah, good. New acquisitions. You are a protocol droid, are you not?

THREEPIO

I am See-Threepio, human-cy...

NINEDENINE

Yes or no will do.

THREEPIO

Oh. Well, yes.

NINEDENINE

How many languages do you speak?

THREEPIO

I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, and can readily...

NINEDENINE

Splendid! We have been without an interpreter since our master got angry with our last protocol droid and disintegrated him.

THREEPIO

Disintegrated?

NINEDENINE

(to a Gamorrean guard)

Guard! This protocol droid might be useful. Fit him with a restraining bolt and take him back to His Excellency's main audience chamber.

The guard shoves Threepio toward the door.

THREEPIO

(disappearing)

Artoo, don't leave me! Ohhh!

Artoo lets out a plaintive cry as the door closes. Then he beeps angrily.

NINEDENINE

You're a feisty little one, but you'll soon learn some respect. I have need for you on the master's Sail Barge. And I think you'll fit in nicely.

The poor work droid in the background lets out another tortured electronic scream.

INT. JABBA'S THRONE ROOM

The court of Jabba the Hutt is in the midst of a drunken, raucous party. Sloppy, smelly monsters cheer and make rude noises as Oola and a fat female dancer perform in front of Jabba's throne.

Jabba leers at the dancers and with a lustful gleam in his eye beckons Oola to come and sit with him. She stops dancing and backs away, shaking her head. Jabba gets angry and points to a spot next. to him.

JABBA

Da Eitha!

The lovely alien shakes her head again and screams.

OOLA

Na Chuba negatorie Na! Na! Natoota...

Jabba is furious and pulls her toward him, tugging on the chain.

JABBA

Boscka!

He pushes a button and, before the dancer can flee, a trap door in the floor springs open and swallows her up. As the door snaps shut, a muffled growl is followed by a hideous scream. Jabba and his monstrous friends laugh hysterically and several revelers hurry over to watch her fate through a grate.

Threepio cringes and glances wistfully at the carbonite form of Han Solo, but is immediately distracted by a gunshot offscreen. An unnatural quiet sweeps the boisterous gathering. On the far side of the room, the crush of debauchers moves aside to allow the approach of two guards followed by BOUSHH, an oddly cloaked bounty hunter, leading his captive, Han Solo's copilot, CHEWBACCA THE WOOKIEE.

Bib takes his place next. to his disgusting master, and whispers into his ear, pointing at Chewbacca and the bounty hunter. Jabba listens intently, then the bounty hunter bows before the gangster and speaks a greeting in a strange, electronically processed tongue (Ubese).

BOUSHH

(in Ubese subtitled)

I have come for the bounty on this Wookiee.

THREEPIO

Oh, no! Chewbacca!

JABBA

(in Huttese subtitled)

At last we have the mighty Chewbacca.

Jabba lets out a loud, long, blood-curdling laugh and turns to Threepio, waving him closer. The reluctant droid obeys.

THREEPIO

Oh, uh, yes, uh, I am here, Your Worshipfulness. Uh... yes!

Jabba continues speaking, as Threepio nervously translates. Boushh listens, studying the dangerous creatures around the room. He notices BOBA FETT standing near the door.

THREEPIO

Oh. The illustrious Jabba bids you welcome and will gladly pay you the reward of twenty-five thousand.

BOUSHH

(in Ubese subtitled)

I want fifty thousand. No less.

Jabba immediately flies into a rage, knocking the golden droid off the raised throne into a clattering heap on the floor. Boushh adjusts his weapon as Jabba raves in Huttese and Threepio struggles back onto the throne. The disheveled droid tries to compose himself.

THREEPIO

Uh, oh... but what, what did I say?

(to Boushh)

Uh, the mighty Jabba asks why he must pay fifty thousand.

The bounty hunter holds up a small silver ball in his hand. Threepio looks at it, then looks at Jabba, then back to the bounty hunter. The droid is very nervous and Jabba is getting very impatient.

THREEPIO

Because he's holding a thermal detonator.

The guards instantly back away, as do most of the other monsters in the room. Jabba stares at the silver ball, which begins to glow in the bounty hunter's hand. The room has fallen into a tense hush. Jabba stares at the bounty hunter malevolently until a sly grin creeps across his vast mouth and he begins to laugh.

JABBA

(in Huttese subtitled)

This bounty hunter is my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive.

Jabba continues.

THREEPIO

Jabba offers the sum of thirty-five. And I suggest you take it.

Bib and the other monsters study the bounty hunter and wait for his reaction. Boushh releases a switch on the thermal detonator and it goes dead.

BOUSHH

Zeebuss.

THREEPIO

He agrees!

The raucous crowd of monsters erupts in a symphony of cheers and applause as the party returns to its full noisy pitch. Chewbacca growls. As he is led away we spot LANDO CALRISSIAN, disguised as a skiff guard in a partial face mask. The band starts up and dancing girls take the center of the floor, to the hoots of the loudly appreciative creatures.

Boushh leans against a column with gunfighter cool and surveys the scene, his gaze stopping only when it connects with a glare from across the room. Boba Fett is watching him. Boushh shifts slightly, cradling his weapon lovingly. Boba Fett shifts with equally ominous arrogance.

INT. DUNGEON CORRIDOR AND CELL

Gamorrean guards lead Chewie down the same hallway we saw before. When a tentacle reaches out at the Wookiee, Chewie's ferocious ROAR echoes against the walls and the tentacle snaps back into its cell in terror. It takes all the guards to hurl Chewie roughly into a cell, slamming the door behind him. Chewie lets out a pathetic howl and bangs on the iron door.

EXT. JABBA'S PALACE

The palace is sitting in the light of the double sunset. On the road in front, a large toadlike creature flicks its tongue out for a desert rodent and burps in satisfaction.

INT. JABBA'S THRONE ROOM – NIGHT

Silence. The room is deserted, only the awful debris of the alien celebration giving mute witness to the activity here before. Several drunk creatures lie unconscious around the room, snoring loudly.

A shadowy figure moves stealthily among the columns at the perimeter of the room and is revealed to be Boushh, the bounty hunter. He picks his way carefully through the snoring, drunken monsters.

Han Solo, the frozen space pirate, hangs spotlighted on the wall, his coffin-like case suspended by a force field. The bounty hunter deactivates the force field by flipping a control switch to one side of the coffin. The heavy case slowly lowers to the floor of the alcove.

Boushh steps up to the case, studying Han, then turns to the controls on the side of the coffin. He activates a series of switches and, after one last, hesitant look at Han, slides the decarbonization lever. The case begins to emit a sound as the hard shell covering the contours of Han's face begins to melt away. The bounty hunter watches as Han's body is freed of its metallic coat and his forearms and hands, previously raised in reflexive protest, drop slackly to his side. His face muscles relax from their mask of horror. He appears quite dead.

Boushh's ugly helmet leans close to Han's face listening for the breath of life. Nothing. He waits. Han's eyes pop open with a start and he begins coughing. The bounty hunter steadies the staggering newborn.