Runaway Bride

       BOB (cont'd)
   (to Maggie)
  Hey, honey!

 Bob kisses and embraces Maggie.  She doesn't see Ike immediately,
 then:

       MAGGIE
   (indicating Ike)
  What is he up to now?

       BOB
  Ike just came by to check out the team.

       IKE
  And talk about you.

 Ike grins and shows Maggie the notes in his pocket.

       MAGGIE
  Bob -- are you making friends with this
  man?

       BOB
  I'm just bragging about how great you
  are.  I'm the luckiest man alive.

 Bob grabs Maggie around the waist and smooches her adoringly. 
 Maggie scowls at Ike.  He nods, all charm.

       IKE
  Well -- I've got to get moving -- lot
  of work to do today!  I'll see you two
  love-birds later.

 Ike leaves.  Bob calls after him.

       BOB
  See you at the wedding.

       IKE
  You bet ya, Coach.

 Maggie is aghast.  She stares at Bob.  Ike joins in behind a line
 of peppy cheerleaders.

       MAGGIE
  At the wedding?  You invite him?  Bob,
  don't you realize he's writing another
  article about me?

       BOB
  Sure I do.  But the bet defense is a
  good offense, right?  You're not going
  to let your opponent throw you off
  your game.

       MAGGIE
  You don't understand this guy.

       BOB
  Let him come to the wedding.  You're
  not running, right?  Say it. "I'm
  not..."

       MAGGIE
   (irritably)
  I'm not running.

       BOB
  So if you're not running and Ike Graham
  is there to see it, then any article he
  writes has got to have a happy ending,
  right?  All we're doing is turning
  lemon into lemonade.

       MAGGIE
  I've got news for you.  No amount of
  sugar and water is going to turn like
  Graham into something you want to take
  on a picnic.

 Bob gives Maggie a big hug.

       BOB
  Where's that homemade sunshine?

 Bob blows his whistle, then puts Maggie on the football sled.

       BOB (cont'd)
  I want you boys to take my princess on
  the ride of her life... Honey, tell 'em
  where you parked your car.

 Maggie screams as the boys push her down the football field.

 INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH/CHURCH - DAY

 Maggie kneels, hands folded reverently.  The booth's grate opens
 before her.

       MAGGIE
  Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 
  My last confession was... ahh...

 She tries to recall.

       MAGGIE (cont'd)
  ... Anyway, I have sort of a technical
  question here.  I've been having -- bad
  thoughts.  I mean, really bad thoughts
  ...

       PRIEST
  Of an impure nature?

       MAGGIE
  No -- like -- I'm having a problem with
  that whole turn-the-other-cheek concept. 
  I want revenge.  I want to destroy this
  guy's life, career, everything. On the
  sin scale, how big is that?  I mean,
  can I "Hail Mary" my way out of it?

       PRIEST
  Child, any sin in one's heart is...

       MAGGIE
   (impatient)
  The name's Maggie.  It wasn't this side
  of ten years ago that you had your
  tongue down my throat.  So don't call
  me "child", Brian.  It annoys me.

       PRIEST/    BRIAN
  Now don't get upset.

 Brian closes the confessional window and exits

       MAGGIE
   (still inside
    the booth)
  Brian, open up.  Don't ignore me.

 Brian leans into her confessional.  She steps out to join him.

       BRIAN
  You're not even Catholic, Maggie -- you
  really shouldn't come to confession.

 He's a nice looking and gentle man.  They regard each other for a
 beat.

       MAGGIE
  I'm sorry.  I'm just so stressed out
  about that slime-ball reporter being in
  town.  I jus had to come warn you he
  might show up here and start asking you
  all kinds of ridiculous questions.

 Brian moves away.  Maggie follows and sits in a nearby pew.

       BRIAN
  Actually, he only asked me one
  ridiculous question.  The rest weren't
  so bad.

       MAGGIE
   (sliding along
    the pew)
  What?  You talked to him!  Did you tell
  him we dated before you were a priest?

       BRIAN
  Yes, yes, I'm sure I only did you good,
  Maggie.

       MAGGIE
  What did he ask?

 A woman, MRS. MURPHY, rushes in.

       MRS. MURPHY
  Father, am I too late?

       BRIAN
  No, no.

       MRS. MURPHY
  It won't take long.  Jus two venials.

 The woman goes into the confessional booth to wait.

       BRIAN
  Only respectful things.  What did we
  have in common back then... What kind
  of music did you like... Did you ruin
  my life when you left me standing at
  the altar...

       MAGGIE
  And what did you say?

       BRIAN
  How could I be angry at you when
  clearly what has happened to me is as
  God intended?

       MAGGIE
   (relieved)
  Good one!  Thanks.

       BRIAN
  It happens to be how I feel.

 Brian sits next to Maggie.

       MAGGIE
  God... Of course.  I'm sorry -- I mean,
  I'm...
   (sighs)
  Brian -- I've got to go.  The man's a
  lunatic, but I know exactly where he's
  going next.

       BRIAN
  God bless you, Maggie.

 She turns to rush out, then stops herself.

       MAGGIE
  Oh, wait, my purse.

 She moves to the confessional, knocks, then speaks to Mrs. Murphy.

       MAGGIE (cont'd)
  Excuse me, sorry, forgot my purse. 
  Good luck.

 Maggie closes the booth curtain and turns to Brian.

       MAGGIE (cont'd)
  Wait -- what was the ridiculous
  question he asked?

 Brian smiles mischievously.

       BRIAN
  He wanted to know how you used to like
  your eggs.

       MAGGIE
  Weird.  Like after all those years you
  would remem--

 She starts to go, then stops in her tracks as she hears:

       BRIAN
   (interrupting)
  -- Scrambled, with salt, pepper and
  dill.  Same as me.

 Maggie  looks at Brian.  Suddenly, she remembers too.

       MAGGIE
   (tenderly)
  I'm really sorry that I hurt you, Brian.

       BRIAN
  I'm happy here, where I'm supposed to
  be.  But if you ever become a Catholic,
  may I ask you a favor, Maggie?

       MAGGIE
  Of course.

       BRIAN
  Could your confess to Father Patrick
  from now on?

       MAGGIE
  Of course.

 And she scampers out.  Brian goes back into the confessional.

 EXT. GILL'S GARAGE - DAY

 Maggie drives up to an old brick firehouse that is now an auto
 garage.  The faded sign reads: "Gill's Garage".

 INT. GILL'S GARAGE - DAY

 Maggie rushes inside and looks around.  No one is in sight. 
 Several cars, including a yellow jeep-like car up on a hydraulic
 lift, are in the funky garage.

       MAGGIE
  Gill?  Lydia?  Gill?

 A CRASH, coming from the nearby back room, we hear loud muttering
 in Spanish, then out stumbles GILL CHAVEZ, 34, wearing a grease-
 stained Grateful Dead tie-dyed T-shirt.  He grins triumphantly,
 worshipfully cradling a CASSETTE TAPE in his hands.

       GILL
  Hey -- I found it!

 Maggie regards her former fiance with patient warmth.

       MAGGIE
  Found what?

 Gill looks up and gives Maggie a fond, hazy smile.

       GILL
  Mags!  Hey, look -- The tape from the
  Radio City Music Hall concert --
  Remember that night I as trying to get
  Jerry to let me sit in on "Ripple"?

 He pulls out the cassette from its case.  It's broken.  The tape
 is dangling from the cassette.

       GILL (cont'd)
   (disappointed)
  Oh, I'll play it for you.

 Gill picks up an electric GUITAR and starts to play.

       MAGGIE
   (shouts over the music)
  Listen, Gill -- There's this reporter
  who's ben making my life a living hell
  ... If he comes by here, don't talk to
  him.  And whatever yo do....
   (crosses to Gill)
  ... Don't show him that picture of me
  at the concert in San Francisco --

 Suddenly, a loud CHUCKLING emanates from the car overhead.

       MAGGIE (cont'd)
  What was that?

 Maggie stops Gill from playing.  She shoots her ex an angry glare
 and moves a lever on the shop wall.  With a HUM, the car descends.

       GILL
  We went to San Francisco twice. 
  Remember one time we had a flat tire...
  Which picture?

 As the hydraulic lift slows, the car is lowered, revealing Ike
 sitting in the driver's seat.  He has been enjoying the
 photograph he's holding.

       IKE
   (feigning shock)
  Imagine!  Maggie Carpenter topless in a
  public arena.
   (checks photo again)
  And I see there was a chill in the air.

 Maggie swipes for the photo, but Ike is faster at pulling it away.

       MAGGIE
  Give me that!

       IKE
  But the most interesting thing here is
  that I don't see the rose tattoo that
  I've heard about on your back.

 Gill takes off his guitar and sets it down.

       GILL
  Ike bet me fifty bucks you don't still
  have it, Mags.  I said "You're on, man! 
  Maggie loved that thing!"  And I could
  really use fifty bucks.

 Maggie is conspicuously silent.

       GILL (cont'd)
   (looking worried)
  Mags?

       MAGGIE
  I'm not gonna show you guys anything. 
  I am a soon-to-be-married woman.  Now
  give me that photograph.

 Maggie seethes.

       IKE
  Sure, I would love to give this to you. 
  Just give us one quick gander at that
  rose, and, I'll gladly hand it over.

 She tries to grab the photo again.  Ike pulls it away.

       MAGGIE
  Fine.  Here.

 Maggie quickly turns around and pulls down the back of her shirt,
 revealing the top of her back and a pristine expanse of skin.  No
 tattoo.

       MAGGIE (cont'd)
   (turning back around)
  Satisfied?

       IKE
  Completely.

 Gill is still trying to grasp the meaning of this.

       GILL
  Maggie?  You got it removed?

       IKE
  Gill, I'll go ya double or nothing if
  was a stick-on.

       GILL
   (dismayed)
  Maggie?

       MAGGIE
   (admitting)
  I'm really, really afraid of needles...
  It doesn't make me a bad person.

 Ike laughs.  Maggie looks at him with rage.  Gill dramatically
 pulls down the front of his t-shirt.

       GILL
  Look.

 There it is on Gill's chest: the rose tattoo.  Maggie sighs,
 pained.  Gill shows it to Ike.  Ike looks at the tattoo.  He
 shakes his head at Maggie.

       IKE
   (sincerely)
  Look, look, man.  I think the man is
  heartbroken.

       MAGGIE
  He is not!

 Maggie moves the lever on the wall again, sending Ike back up to
 the ceiling in the car.  She grabs the photo from Ike and exits.

       GILL
  I think I am.

 Gill grabs his guitar and sits.

       GILL (cont'd)
  Hey, Ike, what would Jerry do?

 The hydraulic lift stops moving.  Ike leans out.

       IKE
  Jerry.  He'd play.  He'd play... Jerry
  would play his heart out.

 Ike sings and taps along in tempo on the side of the car as Gill
 sings and plays "Ripple".

       CUT TO:

 EXT. HOTEL PORCH - NEXT DAY, SATURDAY MORNING

 As Maggie drives into town with Peggy, they see Ike on porch with
 SHERIFF, POLICE CHIEF and MAIL    MAN, all playing instruments as
 a blues band.  Ike is not bad on slide guitar.  They all like
 Ike.