Very Bad Things

ANGLE ON

MOORE crazed with the rhythm of the “Chemical Brothers,” jumps up and down on the table.

27   ON BALCONY      27

Fisher and Adam power shooting Tequila.

FISHER: The bucks gonna stop right here. (pounds his chest) If my son doesn’t know the six New England states, if he has trouble with geography, I won’t stick it in his face. I’ll help the little guy. I’ll put him in the car and take him out there. I’ll take him to Maine for a big Lobster dinner, go skiing in Vermont, hot dogs at Yankee Stadium... I won’t stare him down.

ADAM: Don’t ever stare him down.

FISHER: I won’t do it.

ADAM: Don’t eyeball your kids.

28   MOORE     28

on the coffee table, dances the beasty dance.

29   THE BAR        29

BOYD: The Mexicans would love it. They’re dying for a little order down there. They need direction.

MICHEAL: They need leadership.

BOYD: That’s what I’m saying. Let the Israelis straighten it up. They got plenty of room down there, number one. Plus, and this is just a plus, they kind of look alike - the Jews and the Mexicans. So I think on a whole your average Joe Mexican is gonna have less of a problem getting his head around the whole assimilation thing. Am I right?

The DOOR BELL RINGS.

30   BALCONY        30

ADAM: I tell mine that they’re little men. I tell them they’re strong. They make me feel joy. I let ‘em know. So they really know that I need them just as much. You know. Just as much man. And you know, you’re their godfather...

FISHER: I know and I’m honored...

ADAM: If anything ever happens to me...

FISHER: I know...

ADAM: Y’see? That’s the real point here. That’s what I’m driving for, when the big storm comes and knocks down all the forests and the rocks fall down and the leave’s are bare. What’s left? The little trees, the little fellas that the storm didn’t see. The tiny little...

Moore is on the balcony.

MOORE: The stripper’s here.

ADAM: (bombed) Excellent.

He and Fisher stagger aside.

31   HOTEL SUITE     31

Boyd introduces TINA, a devastatingly sexy Asian girl, to all the boys.

BOYD: Gentlemen, this is Tina.

The guys, wasted, attempt to greet Tina.

TINA: Who’s the lucky groom?

The guys point at Fisher, raoring. Tina presses her lips to Fisher’s ear.

TINA (cont’d): Hi Fisher.

Boyd dims the lights, cranks up the MUSIC as the guys stumble for position on and around the couch. Tina starts to move, very sexy.

Micheal tokes a joint.

MICHEAL: God, I love women.

32   TINA’S DANCE MONTAGE        32

SERIES OF SHOTS:

TINA dances, slowly peeling off her clothes.

The guys are into it. Micheal seems especially turned-on.

Tina moves in on Fisher, starts a very nasty lap dance...somehow incorporating a rubber hose.

The guys hoop and holler...

Micheal is mesmerized...

Tina grinds on Fisher’s lap, touching her nipples...

Micheal’s going crazy...He tries to touch her, she slaps his hand away...

Fisher can’t take it anymore...

Tina relents...moves on...

Micheal reaches for her leg like a dog in heat.

She passes over him, teasing, tormenting him, and settles onto Adam’s lap.

The guys roar in approval...Micheal glowers...

Adam turns bright red as Tina arouses and rides him...

Micheal starts to burn...

The guys egg Tina on, she gets off on Adam’s shyness, rubs her breasts in his face...

The guys are howling...

Tina sucks one of Adam’s fingers into her mouth...

Micheal looks like he’s going to explode...

Adam’s overwhelmed, he politely bails out...

BOYD: (whispers to Fish) She’s all your’s Fish. Anything you want. Happy bachelor party.

FISHER: I can’t.

MICHEAL: (jumps up) I’ll take a ride.

FISHER: Go for it.

MICHEAL: (to Tina) Come on.

TINA: (to Boyd) You said just dancing.

BOYD: (re: money) I’ll take good care of you.

TINA: (dead flat; re: Micheal) With him. (beat) Lucky me.

Micheal moves inon Tina. Hesitantly, she leads him into the master bedroom.

MOORE: She’s fucking hot!

ADAM: I need a drink.

BOYD: Tequila...

Boyd reaches for the bottle as the beat goes on.

33   HOTEL SUIT - MONTAGE        33

Distorted, a bit crooked. MUSIC and DIALOGUE constantly changing levels. We’re not sure who’s saying what. We’re not sure of physical geography. The one thing we are sure of is that MICHEAL is fucking the hell out of Tina in the bathroom.

SERIES OF SHOTS:

34   MASTER BATHROOM:      34

Micheal works Tina from behind.

35   SUITE:         35

MOORE bouncing off the furniture.

FISHER and ADAM, wildly high.

BOYD sprays beer on Adam, who returns fire. Drunk they start wrestling, throwing each other around the room, knocking over furniture.

36   BATHROOM:       36

Micheal, tightly, ties Tina’s hands behind her back with her rubber hose.

TINA: Oh come on.

MICHEAL: I want to play.

TINA: It’s gonna cost extra.

MICHEAL: I will pay.

37   SUITE:         37

Fisher spraying beer all over Adam and Boyd as they knock a table over and end up tangled and brawling on the floor.

38   BATHROOM:       38

Micheal screwing the hell out of Tina.

TINA: Easy baby, easy.

SLOW MOTION INTERCUT:

39   SUITE:         39

Moore wildly leaps from the couch to the chair, to another chair, back to the couch...

40   BATHROOM:       40

Micheal plows like a monster into Tina, hands tied behind her back...

CLOSE ON her stiletto heels, digging into the marble floor... One of her heels breaks...she starts to slip...

41   SUITE:         41

Moore jumps, misses the chair, falling down on the glass coffee tablee, GLASS EXPLODES...

42   BATHROOM:       42

Tina falls, Micheal reaches too late, she can’t break her fall with her hands tied behind her...she’s going down...

43   SUITE:         43

Moore falls through the shattered glass, to the floor...