Very Bad Things

BOYD: (through door) What?

RALPH (O.S.): I'm with Tina. Is she there?

Boyd indicates to the guys to be cool.

BOYD: SHe's not here.

RALPH (O.S.): Where is she?

BOYD: She's here. She's just...Hold on a second.

Boyd turns as the guys freak. Crazed bits of panicked coversation - GIBBERISH.

KNOCK KNOCK.

RALPH (O.S.): Could you open the door please.

Boyd moves back to the door, slowly, opens it. Ralph steps in. Takes a good look around.

RALPH'S POV of the fairly  destroyed hotel room and five severly traumatized men.

RALPH: Okay. Hi.

SILENCE.

RALPH: So who's the lucky guy?

PAUSE.

BOYD: Who?

RALPH: The groom?

FISHER: Me.

RALPH: Cool... (beat) You all dudes from L.A.?

BOYD: Yup.

RALPH: Doing the bachelor party thing?

BOYD: That's right.

RALPH: Sin City. Devil's Playground. The Black Bitch. All day every day. (beat) Where's Tina?

BOYD: She's in the bathroom...she's still working.

RALPH: She's still working?

BOYD: That's right.

RALPH: Sweet deal.

SILENCE. Ralph checks the rest of the guys. Some strange eye contact. Extremely uncomfortable.

RALPH: Is everything okay?

BOYD: Great. Fine. Perfect.

More SILENCE.

RALPH: (indicating bathroom)I'm gonna just tell her I'm waiting.

He starts for the bathroom.

BOYD: She's in there!

RALPH: I'm just gonna let her know I'm here.

And Ralph is on his way to the bathroom. And the guys are freaking as Ralph moves through the bedroom up towards the bathroom. Hand on door - opening door - stepping in - and Ralph sees Tina. RALPH, in shock, staring, back-peddles...

RALPH: My God!

As Ralph starts to turn --

FISHER (O.C.): No! NOOOO!!!

ON BOYD - his Boy SCout knife raised above his head - drivin it into Ralph's neck!

MAJOR ARTERIAL SPRAY as Ralph's jugular is severed. Ralph struggles. Boyd wrestles him back toward the bathroom.

BOYD: Help me! Don't let him bleed on the carpet!

And MOORE is there. Helping Boyd wrestle the SCREAMING thrashing Ralph into the bathroom. Ralph fights like a gilled Marlin. They shove him into the bathroom. Boyd slams the door shut. Holds it tight as Ralph tries to force it back open.

BOYD: He'll bleed out! He'll bleed dry. help me hold the door.

And help they do. Micheal, Moore and Adam all hold the door shut as Ralph continues to fight for his life. Slowly the force of his POUNDING  eases. We hear Ralph slowing down...The thrashing slows..softer...The MOANS quiet...softer...Just a slight GURGLE...Ralph is going...going... Ralph is gone.

AT THE DOOR

Eight hands slowly peel off the bathroom door. Devastating SILENCE as the guys attempt to process this, the latest of developments...with Fisher staring, blotto.

48   INT. THE BATHROOM     48

The door slowly opens. Boyd first - then the rest of the guy's heads slowly appear in the doorway.

MOORE: Oh God.

And Moore is out the door, racing for a garbage can to releive himself.

THE GUYS' POV

An absolute blood bath.; The walls are covered with Ralph's Arterial spray Tina lies, still dead on her side. Ralph has somehow "assumed the position" dead, head in the bathtub. A bizarre and gruesome sight. Boyd surveys the carnage, takes charge.

BOYD: (with military precision) All right people. New plan. Not even a new plan so much as a modification of the old plan.

FISHER: (beyond shock) I'm calling the police.

BOYD: So help me God you touch that phone and I bury you with them. (beat) Surrender is no longer an option. I repeat - It is not an option. Is there anyone who does not understand that?

Fisher's response is to join Moore, as he searches for a garbage can to puke in. Micheal just stares.

BOYD:A little gut check time fellas. A time for some serious self-exploration.How do I function? For real? No more bullshit. Can I keep my cool when they bounce my bananas? When they won't play my fucking song? etc, etc. Do you get me? Do you get me?

MICHEAL: Not really. no.

BOYD: Not a problem. Understand not my words, but follow my orders. Follow my orders

49   INT. WALMART - NIGHT        49  

The boys move down the isles of the massive24 hour everything store, Boyd pushes a cart, grabbing; cleaning supplies, tarp, tape, giant pruning shears, etc...

BOYD (V.O.): We will organize, we will mobilize, we will maximize and prioritize.

Moore grabs a plastic garbage can off a shelf and pukes in it for all he's worth.

50   INT. HARD ROCK CASINO       50

The boys attmept to look natural as they stroll through the casino with their spplies. Late night gamblers pay them little notice.

51   INT. HOTEL SUITE      51

Boyd turns up the MUSIC.

BOYD: Let's do it people.

MUSIC OVER SERIES OF SHOTS:

Moore and Fisher scrub blood from the carpet. Fisher keeps forgetting to breath.

Micheal and Boyd put Tina and Ralph in the bath tub.

Adam sits in shock on the floor.

Fisher and Moore try to fix a broken chair.

Boyd starts to dismember Ralph with the pruning shears, like cutting the joints of a roasted chicken.

Adam stares at the wall.

Micheal wraps one of Ralph's feet in plastic, puts it in a suitcase.

Boyd saws. Micheal wraps. Fisher and Moore clean.

Adam slowly straightens up a lamp, begins to help.

UNTIL - the last of the body parts, Tina's head, is wrapped in plastic, packed in a suitcase.

The bathroom has been remarkably cleaned up. Just a bit of blood left in the tub. Boyd looks pleased.

BOYD: All right. Looking good people.

52   EXT. RED ROCK CANYON ROAD        52

The minivan bumps along a deserted road at a snail's pace.

53   INT. MINIVAN         53

Adam drives, cringing with every bump and bang. Everyone is tense. Boyd eyes the clock. It's 4 a.m.

BOYD: Sun rises at 5:52.

ADAM: I'm not wrecking the transmission!

54   EXT. DESERT     54

SERIES OF SHOTS:

The guys off-loading the suitcases.

Fisher and Boyd digging holes.

They start putting the suitcases in the holes.

ADAM: Wait. Wait a minute.

BOYD: What?

ADAM: We can't do this.

BOYD: We've already done this.

ADAM: No, I mean the suitcases. We can't bury them in suticases.

MICHEAL: Why?

ADAM: It's sacrilegious.

BOYD: How do you figure?

ADAM: According to Jewish law, the blood and limbs are considered to be part of the human being. They must be buried together or their souls won't rest in peace.

BOYD: So that's what we're doing.

ADAM: No we're not. The bodies are all mixed up. We can't do this to them.

BOYD: She's Asian. They don't habe Jews in Asia.

ADAM: That is absolutely not true.

BOYD: (beat) Well what the fuck are we supposed to do?

ADAM: (as if reasonable) Open the suitcases, unpack the body parts and reunite the limbs.

FISHER: Now ay.

ADAM: It has to be done.

BOYD: We have to get going.

ADAM: I am not flexible on this.

PAUSE.