WHO SHOT ROGER RABBIT?

"WHO SHOT ROGER RABBIT?"                          
(working title)

                          Written by

               Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman

                                                THIRD DRAFT

                                                September 2, 1986

                        WHO SHOT ROGER RABBIT?

     This movie starts the way all movies should... with a
     cartoon.  It's not a Disney or a Warner's.  It's not a
     Fleischer, an MGM, or a Lanz.  This is a lesser known
     studio.

     FADE IN:

     ON A "MAROON CARTOON"

     Accompanied by zany CARTOON MUSIC, the TITLE CARD reads:

                   MAROON CARTOONS PRESENT
                BABY HERMAN AND ROGER RABBIT
                           IN
                      "THE BUNNYSITTER"

     Below are two cameos of the cartoon's stars.  One picture is
     of a cherubic baby in a bonnet innocently posed with his
     thumb in his mouth.  The other is of a paunchy rabbit with a
     gap between his front teeth.  He has a loveable, if slightly
     shell-shocked look.  The cartoon begins...

     BABY HERMAN AND ROGER RABBIT

     are in a playpen when TWO FEMALE LEGS in high heels walk INTO
     FRAME.  The VOICE belonging to the legs talks down to Baby
     Herman in a maternal coo.

                               VOICE (O.S.)
               Mommy's going to the beauty parlor,
               darling.  But I'm leaving you with your
               favorite friend, Roger.  He's going to
               take very, very good care of you...
                      (voice turns
                       ominous)
               ... cause if he doesn't, he's going
               back to the science lab!

     Roger gulps as he watches the legs disappear.  We HEAR
     FOOTSTEPS recede and a DOOR SLAM.  Roger turns confidently
     back to his charge.  But the little tyke is already squeezing
     through the playpen bars.

                               BABY HERMAN
               Baby bye-bye...

     Roger makes a dive for him, misses, and gets his head stuck
     between the bars.  He pleads with the Baby in a voice that
     resonates of Huntz Hall in "The Bowery Boys".

                               ROGER RABBIT
               Hey, come back!  You heard what your
               mother said!

     BABY HERMAN

     ignores Roger.  We FOLLOW HIM as he crawls into the kitchen.
     He stops to regard something that has caught his attention...
     a cookie jar.  It's sitting on top of the refrigerator.

                               BABY HERMAN
               Coo-kie.

     ROGER

     wearing the playpen like a pillory, comes running toward the
     kitchen.  But the playpen is too wide to clear the door.  The
     impact SHATTERING the playpen and sends Roger sprawling
     across the kitchen floor.  When he looks up...

     BABY HERMAN

     is swinging precariously on the door of the freeer.

                               ROGER RABBIT
               Hang on, Baby.  I'll save you!

     Roger makes a desperate leap across the kitchen for the kid.
     But Baby Herman swings the door to the freezer open and Roger
     disappears inside.  Baby Herman grabs a cookie and swings
     back, shutting the door.  He climbs down and crawls out of
     the kitchen.  After a beat, the freezer door opens.

     ROGER

     now shaped like a block of ice, falls out and hits the floor.
     The block SHATTERS into ice cubes.  Roger looks around,
     dazed.

     BABY HERMAN

     has taken this opportunity to crawl out the window.  Roger
     races to the window.  His eyes pop out of his head at what he
     sees.

     ROGER'S POV

     Baby Herman is crawling along the sidewalk under the shadow
     of a safe being hoisted into a second floor window by the
     Acme Safe Moving Company.  The rope holding the safe is
     fraying down to a slender thread.

     ROGER

     gasps and rockets out the window toward Baby Herman.  The
     rope snaps.  The safe falls.  Roger arrives just in time to
     pluck the Baby out of harm's way.  But not in time to save
     himself.  The safe CRUNCHES down on his head, burying Roger
     into the sidewalk.  After a beat, Roger's hand appears and
     spins the tumbler.  The safe door opens.  Inside, we see the
     dazed rabbit with little TWEETING BIRDS circling his head.

                               VOICE (O.S.)
               Cut, cut, cut!

     The cartoon action stops abruptly, but the goofy CARTOON
     MUSIC PLAYS ON.  We begin a slow PULL BACK TO REVEAL that
     this cartoon is being filmed LIVE ON A SOUND STAGE.  The
     title card sits on an easle.  The female legs are paper
     mache' props manipulated by two HUMAN CREW MEMBERS.  Wearily,
     they lean the legs up against the stage wall.  A human
     DIRECTOR, wearing a tweed jacket and baggy pleated pants,
     steps onto the set.  From the equipment and the dress of the
     crew, we can tell it's the 1940's.  Baby Herman throws his
     cookie down in disgust.  He talks in a gravelly voice an
     octave lower than Wallace Beery's.

                               BABY HERMAN
               What the hell was wrong with that
               take??

                               DIRECTOR
               Nothin' with you, Baby Herman.  It's on
               Roger... again!
                      (over shoulder)
               Hey!  Could we lose the playback?

     The MUSIC suddenly STOPS as, off to the side, the SOUNDMAN
     lifts the needle off a phonograph record.  The Director leans
     over Roger and angrily plucks one of the birds circling his
     head.

                               DIRECTOR
                      (continuing)
               What's this, Roger?

                               ROGER RABBIT
                      (sheepish)
               A tweeting bird?

                               DIRECTOR
               That's right, a tweeting bird.  But
               what does the script say?  'Rabbit gets
               conked.  Rabbit sees stars!'  Not
               birds, stars!

                               BABY HERMAN
               Aw, for cryin' out loud, Roger!  I'll
               be in my trailer... takin' a nap!

     Baby Herman pulls himself up to his full height of two feet
     and walks off the set.  He chooses a route that takes him
     under the dress of the SCRIPT GIRL.  She jumps as if goosed.
     Now two CREW MEMBERS lift the safe off Roger.

                               ROGER RABBIT
               Please, Raoul.  I can give you stars,
               I know I can.  Just drop the safe on my
               head one more time.

                               DIRECTOR
               I've already dropped it on you
               twenty-three times.

                               ROGER RABBIT
               Don't worry about me.  I can take it.

                               DIRECTOR
               I'm not worried about you.  I'm worried
               about the safe.

     CONTINUED PULLBACK.

     What we've been seeing has been from the POV of a MAN in a
     shiny brown suit standing unobtrusively at the back of the
     sound stage.  Under a beat-up fedora is a craggy face that's
     seen a lot in its life... but apparently didn't think much of
     it was funny.  EDDIE VALIANT takes a jolt from a pint of
     whiskey, evidently in reaction to what he's seen.  He opens
     his coat and returns the pint bottle to a shoulder holster
     which had formerly held a .38.  Nerves steadied, he walks out
     the stage door.

     EXT. MAROON STUDIO - DAY

     Valiant emerges from the stage onto a bustling Hollywood
     studio lot where CARTOON CHARACTERS (TOONS) and humans are
     comingling as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
     Valiant stops by an Acme Novelty truck which is unloading
     Toon props.  There are bombs, rockets, flattened pocket
     watches, anvils, giant slingshots, etcetera.  The license
     plate is California 1946.  He fishes out a pack of
     Chesterfields and taps out a half a butt that had been
     stubbed out.  As he lights it, Valiant regards a chubby,
     balding man wearing a three-piece suit and a worried
     expression coming towards him.  He is R.K. MAROON, studio
     boss.  Maroon is leading an entourage of ASSISTANTS trying to
     keep up.

                               MAROON
               Starting tomorrow there'll be no more
               roast beef lunches.  What happened to
               cheese sandwiches?  I was raised on
               cheese sandwiches.

     As the Assistants dutifully record his thoughts, Maroon sees
     a GUY taking a nap in the shade of a palm tree.

                               MAROON
                      (continuing)
               And tell that guy sleepin' over there
               he's fired!
 
                               ASSISTANT
               It's your wife's brother, R.K.

                               MAROON
                      (reconsiders)
               Oh... tell him he's promoted.  But get
               him out of my sight.

     As the Assistants disperse, Maroon approaches Valiant.

                               MAROON
               Valiant, did you see the rabbit?

                               VALIANT
               He was blowin' his lines, all right.
               So what?

                               MAROON
               So what?  He's already put me three
               weeks behind on the shooting schedule!

     Now an EDITH HEAD-TYPE hustles up to show Maroon several
     costume designs.

                               COSTUMER
               Your reaction, R.K.?

     Maroon quickly checks out the drawing.

                               MAROON
               No!  That's not funny.
 
     She flips another drawing.

                               MAROON
                      (continuing)
               That's funny.  Put a homburg on him
               it'll even be funnier.  Huh, Valiant?

     He grabs the pad and shows Valiant.  The rendering is of a
     hippo in a pink polka-dot tu-tu.

                               VALIANT
                      (deadpan)
               Yeah, that'd be a riot.

     Maroon responds to Valiant's sarcasm with raised eyebrows.

                               MAROON
               Boy, I hope what you have ain't
               contagious or I'll be out of business.

     He hands the pad back to the designer, who departs.

                               MAROON
                      (continuing)
               How much do you know about show
               business, Valiant?

                               VALIANT
               Only there's no business like it, no
               business I know.

     Valiant watches an ALLIGATOR in a rebel uniform dragging a
     brace of cannons and several TOADSTOOLS parade by.

                               MAROON
               Yeah, and there's no business as
               expensive.  I'm twenty-five grand over
               budget on the latest Bunnysitter
               cartoon and it's all because that
               rabbit can't keep his mind on his work.
               And you know why?

                               VALIANT
               One too many safes dropped on his head?

                               MAROON
               Nah, that goes with the territory.
               He's a stunt bunny.

     Maroon takes a copy of the "Hollywood Tattler" out of his
     pocket.

                               MAROON
                      (continuing)
               Here's the problem...
                      (reads)
               "Seen cooing over calamari with
               notsonew Sugar Daddy was Jessica
               Rabbit... wife of Maroon star, Roger".
                      (looks up)
               His wife's a tramp, but he thinks she's
               Betty Crocker.  The doubt's eatin' him
               up.

                               VALIANT
               So what do you want me to do?

                               MAROON
               Get me a couple juicy pictures.
               Somethin' I can wise the rabbit up
               with.

                               VALIANT
               I don't work in Toontown.

                               MAROON
               You don't have to.  The rabbit's wife
               sings at an underground Toon revue
               joint called The Ink & Paint Club.  You
               can catch her in action there.

                               VALIANT
               The job's gonna cost you a hundred
               bucks.

                               MAROON
               A hundred bucks?  That's ridiculous.

                               VALIANT
               So's the job.

     Valiant starts to walk away.

                               MAROON
               All right, all right... You got your
               hundred bucks.

     Maroon turns, snaps his fingers.  His Assistant appears out
     of nowhere with Maroon's checkbook and a pen.  The Assistant
     turns and stoops so that Maroon can write the check on his
     back.

                               MAROON
                      (continuing)
               Fifty now, fifty when you deliver the
               pictures.

     Maroon tears the check off and hands it to Valiant.  Suddenly
     Valiant ducks in reflex to a large shadow that passes
     overhead.

                               MAROON
                      (continuing;
                       chuckles)
               Kinda jumpy aren't you, Valiant?  It's
               just Dumbo.

     ABOVE THEIR HEADS - DUMBO

     swoops back and forth, then hovers, ears flapping like a
     hummingbird.

                               MAROON
               I got him on loan from Disney.

                               VALIANT
               Aren't you the lucky one...

     Valiant grabs the check from Maroon and starts for the gate.

                               MAROON
               When will I hear from you?

                               VALIANT
               As soon as is humanly possible.

     We FOLLOW Valiant out the gate under a wrought iron sign that
     reads "Maroon Cartoon Studios".  As he starts across the road
     he's almost run over by a Toon roadster that ROARS out of the
     gates.  When it BLASTS ITS HORN, it's the FIRST FIVE NOTES
     from the WOODY WOODPECKER SONG:  "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA".  Valiant
     jumps back as the roadster passes.  WOODY THE WOODPECKER'S
     behind the wheel with a self-important smile on his face.
     Valiant angrily waves the cloud of Toon dust away.

                               VALIANT
                      (coughs)
               Damn Toons.

     ACROSS THE STREET - A TROLLEY CAR

     is slowing to a stop in front of the studio.  It's a Pacific
     and Electric "Red Car", part of a vast system of electric
     trollies that once criss-crossed the L.A. Basin.  Valiant
     steps onto the "Red Car".  He reaches into his pocket to give
     the CONDUCTOR his nickel fare.  But he comes up with a
     handful of lint.  He holds out the check.

                               CONDUCTOR
               What do I look like, a bank?

     The Conductor jerks his thumb toward the door.  Valiant
     suffers the public humiliation,of having to step down past
     the rest of the boarding passengers.  He walks around to the
     back of the Red Car where a gang of TEN-YEAR-OLDS are
     loitering.  When the BELL SOUNDS and the Red Car starts to
     pull away, the Kids make a dash for a place on the cow
     catcher.  Valiant joins them.  We HOLD as the Red Car moves
     away and the street urchins regard their older partner in
     crime with curiosity.

                                              DISSOLVE TO:

     A BILLBOARD SIGN

     It reads:  "L.A.'s Pacific and Electric Red Car -- America's
     Finest Public Transportation System".  PAN DOWN to see that
     the sign is on the roof of the trolley terminal.  Red Cars
     are going in and out of the shed.  MOVE IN on one car
     approaching the terminal from down the street.  As it passes
     by...

     VALIANT

     hops off his freeloader's seat on the back,

                               KID
               So long, mister.

     Valiant waves laconically.

                               VALIANT
               Thanks for the cigarettes.

     We FOLLOW Valiant as he crosses the street to a seedy
     bungalow.  A note is push-pinned to the door.

     CLOSE - NOTE

     It says:  "Tomorrow's Friday... Well?  Dolores".

     VALIANT

     takes the note and walks back across the street toward the
     terminal.  He climbs up a flight of stairs, heading for a bar
     on the mezzanine.  The bar sports a red neon sign that used
     to blink, "The Terminal Station Bar".  But now it just says,
     "Terminal".