Young Frankenstein

Young Frankenstein  

Screenplay by       Gene Wilder

          Mel Brooks

Produced by       Michael Gruskoff

Directed by       Mel Brooks

Cast List:

Gene Wilder     Dr. Frederick Frankenstein

Peter Boyle      Frankenstein's Monster

Marty Feldman      Igor

Madeline Kahn      Elizabeth

Cloris Leachman    Frau Blucher

Teri Garr      Inga

Kenneth Mars      Inspector Kemp

Gene Hackman      Blind Man

FADE IN:

EXT. FRANKENSTEIN CASTLE

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

On a distant, rainy hill, the old Frankenstein castle, as we knew and loved it, is illuminated by ANOTHER BOLT OF LIGHTNING.

MUSIC: AN EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY begins to PLAY in the background.

ANOTHER ANGLE

As we MOVE SLOWLY CLOSER to the castle. It is completely dark, except for one room – a study in the corner of the castle – which is only lit by candles.

Now we are just outside a rain-splattered window of the study. We LOOK IN and SEE:

INT. STUDY – NIGHT

An open coffin rests on a table we can not see it's contents. As the CAMERA SLOWLY CIRCLES the coffin for a BETTER VIEW...

A CLOCK BEGINS TO CHIME: "ONE", "TWO", "THREE", "FOUR... "

We are ALMOST FACING the front of the coffin. "FIVE", "SIX", "SEVEN", "EIGHT... "

The CAMERA STOPS. Now it MOVES UP AND ABOVE the satin-lined coffin. "NINE", "TEN", "ELEVEN", "T W E L V E!"

CUT TO:

THE EMBALMED HEAD OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN

Half of still clings to the waxen balm; the other half has decayed to skull. Below his head is a skeleton, whose bony fingers cling to a metal box.

A HAND

Reaches in to grasp the metal box. It lifts the box halfway out of the coffin – the skeleton's fingers rising, involuntarily, with the box.

Then, as of by force of will, the skeleton's fingers grab the box back and place it where it was.

Now the "Hand" – using its other hand – grabs the box back from the skeleton's fingers. The skeleton no longer resists.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN
 

Whose "Hands" we have just seen, now carries the box to a small table. He takes a tiny key out from his vest pocket and begins to unlock the metal box.

NINE PEOPLE watch him closely. They are seated on chairs in the study, waiting to hear the contents of Beaufort Frankenstein's will. Their dress is turn-of-the-century Transylvanian.

Cornelius Waldman fumbles with the lock, emitting strange grunts as he tries to open it. With each grunt, the face of a "potential Heir" is SEEN, squirming with frustration or anger.

FIRST VILLAGER (WALTER)

Fumbling fool! For two kronen I'd rip that box fight out of his hands.

ILSE (HIS WIFE)

Shhh!

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER (HENRICH)

Hurry. Idiot, hurry!

AGATHA (HIS WIFE)

Quiet, Henrich! We've waited seventy years... another three or four seconds won't hurt.

NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER

Another three of four more seconds? I could be dead by then.

AGATHA

Shhh!

FIFTH VILLAGER (A MAN)

What if he's left you out?

HELENE (HIS GIRL FRIEND)

Just let him try – I'll take care of him.

ANASTASIA (A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN)

Oh, Mommy... I hardly remember. Did the Baron really like me when I was a child?

MARLENE (HER MOTHER)

Like a father!

NINTH VILLAGER (WOLFGANG)

(muttering to himself)

Wenn dieser blode Kerl sich nicht beeilt werde ich verrückt. Was zum Teufel macht er?

MARLENE

Shhh!

Cornelius Waldman finally opens the lock. He takes out an old parchment, puts on his glasses, coughs and sputters a few times, and then begins to read.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

"I, Beaufort Frankenstein, in this my eighty third year of life, do hereby make, publish and declare the following statements as and for my last will and testament, and I direct my executor, Cornelius Waldman, to inform and assemble those persons previously divulged to him, that they may hear – in my own voice – the final disposition of my property."

At the words, "In my own voice," the nine "Potential Heirs" exchange curious glances.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

(still reading)

"Such disposition to commerce at the hour of twelve o'clock of my one hundredth birthday. If all the conditions heretofore set forth have been met, now then – hear once more, and for the last time... the authenticity of my own voice!"

Cornelius Waldman nods to a Clerk, HERR FALKSTEIN, who is standing nearby.

Herr Falkstein places the needle of an old victrola onto an already spinning record. It SCRATCHES and then begins to PLAY.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

How do you do this thing? Where? In here? Just talk right into it? All right. Am I close enough? All right, all right – get the hell out of the way.

(he clears his throat, then speaks in a deep, majestic voice)

The once proud name of Frankenstein has been dragged, by my only son, Victor, into an abyss of shame. There was a time when the name 'Frankenstein' conjured dreams of virtue, of honor and devotion. Now, no guilt, no malignity, no misery can be found to equal mine. And the catalogue of sins of my once devoted son will not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them forever – so supremely frightful is the effect of any human endeavor to mock the stupendous mechanism of the Creator of the world. Did you get all that? Are you sure you got 'rankle in my wounds'? I'll kill you if you screw this up. All right, all right. Now as to the disposition of my estate.

Everyone in the room sits alert.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

To my cousins, Henrich and Agatha...

CUT TO:

THE NINETY-YEAR-OLD VILLAGER AND HIS WIFE

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

... and to my cousin Walter and his wife Ilse...

CUT TO:

WALTER AND ILSE

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

... and to my niece Helene...

CUT TO:

HELENE

Sitting with her boyfriend.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

... and my dear nephew Wolfgang...

CUT TO:

WOLFGANG

Sitting alone.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

... and lastly, to my cherished old friend, Marlene, and her charming daughter, Anastasia...

CUT TO:

ANASTASIA AND HER MOTHER

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

... to all of you, in equal shares, I hereby give, devise and bequeath, absolutely and without any restrictions whatsoever, all property of every sort and description, whether real, personal or mixed, to which my estate shall be entitled.

HENRICH AND AGATHA

Are hugging each other.

WALTER AND ILSE

Hugging each other.

HELENE AND ANASTASIA

Hugging each other.

WOLFGANG

Is hugging himself.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

Unless...!

GROUP SHOT

They all look up suddenly from their hugging.

ANOTHER ANGLE

SCRATCH, SCRATCH, SCRATCH... the needle has reached the end of the first side.

HERR FALKSTEIN

Lifts the arm off and turns the record over.

HERR FALKSTEIN

(apologetically)

It's a seventy-eight.

He places the needle on the record.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

... Unless... my only male heir, my great-grandson, Frederick – whom I have never seen but who is, at the time of this recording, ten years of age and residing in America with my granddaughter, Katherine – has, by his own free will, embraced Medicine as his career and acquitted himself with some measure of esteem. Then, to him I leave... everything!

The nine "Potential Heirs" are expressionless.

VOICE OF BEAUFORT FRANKENSTEIN (O.S.)

My castle, together with its laboratory, its public and private library, and all notes and journals contained therein, all acreage surrounding my estate, plus all income and principle thereof... in the fond hope that yet another Frankenstein shall lift our family name to an eminence of dignity, and sanity, that it once enjoyed. As for my dear friends and relations, should this latter improbability come to be... I know that I have your complete understanding. For the road to salvation and repentance must be paved up the avenue of my soul, and not up yours, up yours, up yours, up yours, up yours...

Herr Falkstein removes the needle from the finished record.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Herr Falkstein! Did you inform Frederick Frankenstein of this assembly and all the particulars of the time and place?

HERR FALKSTEIN

I did, sir.

He takes a cablegram out from his pocket.

HERR FALKSTEIN

But I received a cable only this morning, saying that he could not come.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Was he aware of the importance of this occasion?

HERR FALKSTEIN

Yes, sir, he was. But he said he was obligated to lecture at Johns Hopkins University.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

What lecture could be more important than the will of Baron Beaufort Frankenstein?

HERR FALKSTEIN

(reading the cable)

"Functional areas of the cerebrum in relation to the skull."

The Ninety-Year-Old Villager passes out.

ANASTASIA

(very sweetly)

Excuse me, Mr. Waldman – excuse me for interrupting. But is Frederick, then... a medical doctor?

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Yes, my dear, he is.

ANASTASIA

And has he achieved... any special degree of eminence?

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

He is the fifth leading authority in his field.

ANASTASIA

(sinking her head into her hand)

Oh, shit.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Herr Falkstein – you must go at once and present Dr. Frankenstein with all the details of his inheritance. The estate will provide for your journey.

HELENE

I object, Herr Waldman! This is a travesty. If the beloved great-grandson cared anything at all for the House of Frankenstein, he would have shown it by being here with those of us who still have some respect. I think we should completely disregard the afterthoughts of a very old man.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Madam – the foundation of civilization rests upon adherence to the law. And the Law is the Law. Das Gesetz ist das Gesetz!

Wolfgang – the man who mutters only in German – CRASHES the back of his head halfway into the wall behind him.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

Herr Falkstein! You have your instructions!

HERR FALKSTEIN

Yes, sir.

CORNELIUS WALDMAN

I have taken an oath that each letter of this testament shall be executed... and by God, it shall be done!

The lid of Beaufort Frankenstein's coffin SLAMS SHUT by itself.

DISSOLVE TO:

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

It reads:

"JOHNS HOPKINS HOSPITAL

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND"

INT. MEDICAL ARENA – DAY

Herr Falkstein quietly enters into the balcony of an arena packed with young MEDICAL STUDENTS. A lecture is in progress.

LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

If we look at the base of a brain which has just been removed from a skull, there's very little of the midbrain that we can actually see.

Herr Falkstein proceeds, almost on tiptoe, along the aisle towards a vacant seat. He is carrying a briefcase and a small metal box.

LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture last week, if the under aspects of the temporal lobes are gently pulled apart, the upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen.

Herr Falkstein's footsteps ECHO ever so lightly against the cold stone floor, as he passes the faces of students intense with concentration.

LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

This so called 'brain stem' consists of the midbrain, a rounded protrusion called the pons, and a stalk tapering downwards called the medulla oblongata which passes out of the skull through the foramen magnum and becomes, of course... the spinal cord.

Herr Falkstein finds a vacant place and sits down.

LECTURER'S VOICE (O.S.)

Which brings us directly to the demonstration prepared for today. Are there any questions before we proceed?