Young Frankenstein

He walks up to the MAITRE'D and taps his back.

MAITRE'D

Yes, sir, name, please?

MONSTER

Food!

MAITRE'D

Do you have a reservation?

MONSTER

Food!!

MAITRE'D

I'm sorry, sir. We only seat by reservation.

MONSTER

Drink!

MAITRE'D

Oh, no sir-ee. If yo don't have a reservation you can skip to ma-loo.

The Monster grabs the Maitre D' by the lapels.

MONSTER

Foooooood!

MAITRE'D

Now just one moment. There's no need for roughhousing. Have you ever tried a tip?

MONSTER

GRRRHMMNNNJKJMMMNN!

MAITRE'D

Franz! Help! Lunatic!

NEW ANGLE

As the monster picks up the maitre D' and throws him into a crowd.

The Monster attacks the restaurant. LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND WAITERS scream.

PANDEMONIUM.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ELIZABETH'S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Elizabeth – in a long, satin robe – stands over Freddy, who sits staring into a fire.

FREDDY

Poor Delbruck! There must be some way to reach him – to control that body.

ELIZABETH

Darling, you mustn't worry so.

FREDDY

But there's a genius inside that body – crying out for love and understanding and normal human relationships. I just have to find some way to re-establish his communications system.

ELIZABETH

But you can't do that at night. And even if you could – it would cost a fortune. Come to bed, darling.

FREDDY

Oh, Delbruck, Delbruck. Was will dien tachlas von Dir?

ELIZABETH

You've done everything that's humanly possible, Frederick. Oh, darling, I'm so worried about you – you need rest.

FREDDY

I suppose you're right.

ELIZABETH

Of course I am. Now come along like a good boy.

He gets up.

FREDDY

What would I do without you?

They kiss.

ELIZABETH

Is your room just down the hall? In case I get frightened during the night?

FREDDY

Yes, but... I thought, perhaps tonight, under the circumstances, I might... stay here with you.

ELIZABETH

Oh, darling! Don't let's spoil everything.

FREDDY

I don't want to spoil anything – I just want to top it all off.

ELIZABETH

Would you want me, now, like this, so soon before our wedding? So near we can almost touch it? Or wait a little while longer, when I can give myself without hesitation? When I can be totally and unashamedly yours??

FREDDY

That's a tough choice.

ELIZABETH

Is it worth taking a chance?

FREDDY

I suppose you're right.

ELIZABETH

Of course I am. Now give me a kiss and say good night like my good boy.

They kiss.

FREDDY

Good night.

ELIZABETH

That's my good boy.

Freddy steps out into the:

INT. HALLWAY

Elizabeth blows him a kiss and slowly closes her door.

Freddy stands for a moment, then walks to the door next to Elizabeth's room and knocks.

ANGLE ON INGA
 

She is wearing a flimsy nightgown, opens the door.

INGA

Why, Doctor... is anything the matter?

FREDDY

Just passing through the night.

INGA

What's wrong, Doctor? You seem... lonely.

FREDDY

Oh, a little. But it's not just physical loneliness. It's the pangs that come from missing someone intellectually... as I have you.

INGA

I've missed you intellectually, too, Doctor.

He stares at her almost "see-through" nightgown.

FREDDY

It's terrible – the price society demands in the name of fidelity... ultimately?

INGA

Not fooling around.

FREDDY

I know, but I mean – not fooling around physically? Or not fooling around intellectually?

INGA

I see what you mean.

FREDDY

There can never... ever... be anything physical between us. You know that, dear.

INGA

I know Frederick.

He is staring at her breasts.

FREDDY

It wouldn't be fair to Elizabeth.

INGA

Of course not.

FREDDY

For that matter, it wouldn't be fair to you, or to me.

On the word "you", he touches Inga's breast to emphasize his point. On the word "me", he touches his own chest.

Pause.

INGA
What?

FREDDY

I say, it wouldn't be fair to you... or to me.

INGA

Nor to Elizabeth.

FREDDY

No. Nor to Elizabeth.

INGA

We all have our feelings. I know that I have mine. And... I wouldn't want to hurt yours.

On the word "mine", she touches her chest for emphasis. On the word "yours", she places her hand on Freddy's chest and rubs it a little.

FREDDY

Yes, I do have my feelings. And, of course, you have yours.

He rubs her chest.

INGA

And Elizabeth has hers.

FREDDY

Yes, Elizabeth has hers.

INGA

But, after all, you have yours.

She unbuttons a button of his pajama top so that she can touch his chest better.

FREDDY

Yes, I have mine.

INGA

And I have mine.

FREDDY

Yes... yes, you have yours.

INGA

Why don't we talk inside?

FREDDY

(keeping one hand on her chest)

Well...

(he looks at his watch)

... perhaps for a few minutes.

They go into Inga's room.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BÜRGERMEISTER'S HOUSE – NIGHT

VILLAGERS, with torches and DOGS, stand on the street, in front of the Bürgermeister's steps.

FIRST VILLAGER

Bürgermeister Krempen.

SECOND VILLAGER

Bürgermeister Krempen!

THIRD VILLAGER

(pounding on the door)

Bürgermeister Krempen!

FOURTH VILLAGER

Mayor Krempen!

BÜRGERMEISTER

(opening the door)

What is it? What's going on?

FIRST VILLAGER

The monster, sir. The Monster is loose.

BÜRGERMEISTER

Do you realize it's after eight o'clock???

SECOND VILLAGER

Yes, sir, but the monster. He's escaped!

THIRD VILLAGER

He's running through the countryside, terrorizing the villagers. No one is safe.

BÜRGERMEISTER

What do you mean 'the' monster – as if this happened every Sunday. You mean 'a' monster.

FOURTH VILLAGER

No, sir, it's 'the' monster. The Frankenstein monster.

BÜRGERMEISTER

Oh, Tommy Rot!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS

Yes! Frankenstein! The Frankenstein monster!

BÜRGERMEISTER

Now wait a minute! Just wait a minute!

They quiet down.

BÜRGERMEISTER

Now see here! There'll be no more wild accusations bandied about while I'm still Bürgermeister of this village. If there is mischief afoot, the way to find out is to confront the man with the charges brought against him. It's the only decent thing to do. And as long as I'm Bürgermeister of your village – a man's name is still his honor.

FIRST VILLAGER

But it's true, sir. Young Master Freddy – he's come from America and read all of his grandfather's secret notes. They've started the whole business all over again, sir.