Young Frankenstein

The Bürgermeister's Great Dane is making so much noise, it's difficult to hear.

1ST VILLAGER

What?

BÜRGERMEISTER

There he is!!

1ST VILLAGER

What?

The Bürgermeister gives his leash a yank and the Great Dane finally stops howling.

BÜRGERMEISTER

(pointing)

I said – there he is!

Several Villagers look up and then start SHOOTING at a TALL VILLAGER, who is peeing on top of a distant rock. He has his back turned to the other Villagers.

TALL VILLAGER

(turning around in terror)

Don't shoot! Don't shoot! It's ME!

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

The Monster enters the cave slightly out of breath and stands the "fainted" Elizabeth on her feet.

He shakes her.

MONSTER
MMmmm.

He shakes her again.

MONSTER

MMmmm!

Elizabeth slowly opens her eyes.

The Monster smiles sweetly.

Elizabeth smiles sweetly in return – forgetting for a moment where she is. Then her smile turns to growing horror. She starts to scream, but the Monster quickly covers her mouth.

After a moment, the Monster tries to make a "Shhhh" sound with his finger, but as he releases her mouth to use his "Shhh" finger... her SCREAM is still going on.

He covers her mouth again and shakes her.

MONSTER

MMMmmmm!

He gradually takes his hand from her mouth.

She is silent; but her eyes are filled with terror.

The Monster starts to unbutton his pants.

ELIZABETH
What...?

The Monster holds up his hand for her to "Wait a minute."

MONSTER

MMMmmmm!

He goes on unbuttoning his pants.

ELIZABETH

What in God's name are you doing?

MONSTER

Baack!

ELIZABETH

What?

MONSTER

(motioning for her to move back)

Baack!

She moves back a foot.

MONSTER

Morrr!

She moves back another foot... fascinated.

We cannot see what she sees, but what ever it is... she is suddenly filled with awe.

ELIZABETH
Oh my goodness! Nineteen if it's an inch.

The Monster smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

The Bürgermeister and the Villagers make their way through the rocks and hills, alongside a stream.

Row boats – with Villagers, torches and Dogs – travel up the stream alongside the Villagers who are on land.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Elizabeth and the Monster are lying on a bed of leaves.

ELIZABETH

Penny for your thoughts.

The Monster's eyes twinkle lasciviously.

ELIZABETH

You're incorrigible! Aren't you?

MONSTER

MMMmmmm.

ELIZABETH

All right then... seven's always been my lucky number.

They are about to kiss, when suddenly the Monster's ears perk up as he hears:

MUSIC: THE EERIE TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY

He doesn't know where it is coming from.

ELIZABETH
What, dear? What is it?

The Monster gives a pathetic little cry.

MONSTER

MMMmm!

ELIZABETH

Is it that music?

MONSTER

MMMMM! MMMMM!

ELIZABETH

Probably just some nearby cottage. Nothing to worry about.

The Monster gets up and starts out of the cave... pulled by forces he doesn't understand.

ELIZABETH

Where are you going? They've left their F-M station on, that's all.

He's gone.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. ROOF OF CASTLE – NIGHT

Freddy stands in the night air, playing the violin – a handkerchief under his chin.

In front of him is a tall microphone on a stand, with two enormous speakers nearby, facing the woods.

Igor sits on a chair, near Freddy, like a member of a band waiting for his cue.

Now Igor gets up, put his trumpet to his lips, and blows just the "bridge." When he is finished, he sits back down and waits.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

The Monster walks passionately through the woods, fighting the branches in order to get to the music.

CUT TO:

EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE WOODS – NIGHT

The Bürgermeister and the Villagers make their way through the rocks and hills, alongside a stream.

Rowboats, with Villagers, torches and Dogs, travel up the stream, alongside the Villagers who are on land.

The rocks, hills and stream all look vaguely familiar.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF OF CASTLE – NIGHT

The Monster can be SEEN, crawling up the side of the Castle, trying to make it onto the roof.

Freddy and Igor move close to the edges of the roof as Freddy continues playing.

FREDDY

(to the Monster)

You can do it.

The Monster inches closer.

FREDDY

You can do it.

The Monster inches closer.

IGOR

Come on, big fellow!

FREDDY

(to Igor)

Is everything ready?

IGOR

Yes, master. Are you sure you want to go through with it?

FREDDY

It's the only way.

IGOR

Okay, boss! But I hope you know what you're doing.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

The Bürgermeister stands in water up to his waist – his clothes all wet and torn.

His Great Dane is swimming next to him, BARKING LOUDLY.

1ST VILLAGER

Wait a minute! maybe he went back to the castle.

2ND VILLAGER

That's right!

3RD VILLAGER

He's probably right.

2ND VILLAGER

It was all a trick by that lunatic doctor.

3RD VILLAGER

Let's go back there and tear them both to pieces!

4TH VILLAGER

Now see here. Let's not lese our heads. We've always listened to our Bürgermeister in the past. We should have the decency to hear him now.

1ST VILLAGER

Well – what do you say, Bürgermeister?

BÜRGERMEISTER

Let's go back there and tear them to pieces!

ASSORTED VILLAGERS

Yay! Back to the castle! Kill them both!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LABORATORY – NIGHT

The Monster lies on an operating table. His eyes are closed.

From out of his head come ten thin tubes, connecting to one large tube.

The large tube travels up, above the Monster's head, then turns across the room for five or six feet, then down again where it connects with ten smaller tubes that are stuck into:

FREDDY'S HEAD

Freddy lies on an operating table. His eyes are closed.