Young Frankenstein

FREDDY

I did not do that. Why would I do a thing like that...? Are you insane?

LEGEND ON THE SCREEN

It reads:

"IS THIS THE FIRST SIGN OF A SPLIT PERSONALITY? "

BACK TO THE SCENE

Now Freddy and Herr Falkstein are standing on a corner.

FREDDY

All right then, I suppose I owe the family that much. You'll have everything ready for me when I arrive?

HERR FALKSTEIN

Yes, sir.

FREDDY

One week at the most!?

HERR FALKSTEIN

One week – I'll see to it, sir.

FREDDY

Well, thank you very much for all your trouble.

They shake hands.

HERR FALKSTEIN

Not at all – a great privilege, Doctor.

FREDDY

Saturday night then! I'll take the train to New York and fly from there.

HERR FALKSTEIN

Saturday night, yes, sir. Have a pleasant journey!

Freddy walks off. Herr Falkstein looks back at the little Old Violinist, who is playing the TRANSYLVANIAN LULLABY on the top half of his violin.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION – NIGHT

Freddy, with a large suitcase and a small briefcase, stands next to a lot of steam... behind which, there appears to be a waiting train. With Freddy is his beautiful, flat-chested fiancée, ELIZABETH.

ELIZABETH

Darling! You will be careful!?

FREDDY

Of course.

ELIZABETH

You have your tickets?

FREDDY

Yes.

ELIZABETH

And your passport?

FREDDY

Yes, don't worry.

ELIZABETH

Call me from New York before you leave?

FREDDY

Yes.

ELIZABETH

Promise? ?

FREDDY

I promise.

ELIZABETH

Oh, darling – I'll count the hours that you're away.

FREDDY

Oh, darling – so will I.

CONDUCTOR (O.S.)

Board! All aboard!

FREDDY

I'd better leave.

They look at each other; then kiss.

ELIZABETH

Will you miss me?

FREDDY

Very... very!

ELIZABETH

Mother's going to help me with the invitations.

FREDDY

Oh, nice.

ELIZABETH

I hope you like large weddings.

FREDDY

Whatever makes you happy.

ELIZABETH

I've trimmed the list to only our very closest friends... but it still comes to three thousand.

FREDDY

You're incorrigible!

ELIZABETH

Does that mean you love me?

FREDDY

You bet your boots it does.

CONDUCTOR (O.S.)

All aboard!

ELIZABETH

Hurry now – before I make a fool of myself.

They kiss quickly.

FREDDY

Goodbye, darling.

Freddy DISAPPEARS into the steam.

ELIZABETH

Goodbye, Freddy! Hurry back to me!

FREDDY (O.S.)

(from the steam)

I will! Goodbye, darling!

ELIZABETH

Goodbye, darling.

A long pause, as Elizabeth gazes into the mass of steam. She wipes a tear from her eye.

ELIZABETH

(whispering to herself)

Goodbye, darling.

FREDDY (O.S.)

(from the steam)

Goodbye, darling!

A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS.

ANGLE ON TRAIN

The train starts up.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TRAIN – NIGHT

Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book. A FEW PEOPLE sit near him.

A CONDUCTOR

Walks down the aisle.

CONDUCTOR

New York next! Everyone out for New York!

Freddy looks out the window.

DISSOLVE TO:

A TRAIN – (STOCK) – NIGHT

Whizzing through the night.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN – SUNSET

Freddy is sitting in a passenger car, reading a book. A FEW EUROPEANS sit near him.

LEGEND OVER THE SCREEN

It reads:

"SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE"

A CONDUCTOR

Wearing a Tyrolean Conductor's hat, walks down the aisle.

CONDUCTOR

Transylvania nächste! Jeder austeigen für TRANSYLVANIA!

Freddy looks out the window. He reaches up and takes his suitcase and briefcase off of the rack above him. Then he raises his window and looks out at:

A TEN YEAR-OLD GERMAN BOY

Dressed in lederhosen, a cap, and a shoeshine kit on his back.

FREDDY

(calling out to him)

Pardon me, boy! Is that the Transylvania Station?

GERMAN BOY

Ja, this is track twenty-nine.

He starts OFF.

GERMAN BOY

Oh, can I give you a shine?

FREDDY

Thank you, no.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION – NIGHT

Freddy gets off the ancient train and looks for someone who might be there to meet him. he sets down his suitcase and briefcase.

ANOTHER ANGLE

From out of the darkness, IGOR, a strange man with a hunched back, walks towards him. Behind Igor is a woman, INGA.

IGOR

Frederick Frankenstein?

FREDDY

Fron-kon-steen!

IGOR

Are you putting me on?

FREDDY

No, it's pronounced Fron-kon-steen.

IGOR

And do you also say Fro-dereck?

FREDDY

No, Fred-ereck.

IGOR

Why isn't it Frodereck Fronkonsteen?

FREDDY

It's not. It's Fredereck Fronkonsteen.

IGOR

I see.

FREDDY

You must be Igor.

Igor thinks a moment.

IGOR

No, it's pronounced Aye-gor.

FREDDY

But they told me it was Ee-gor.

IGOR

Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

FREDDY

You were sent by Herr Falkstein, weren't you?

IGOR

Yes, that's right. My grandfather and your grandfather used to pal around together. You and I should have a lot of laughs.

FREDDY

I'm sure we will.

IGOR

(indicating the large-breasted woman behind him)

This is Inga. They thought you might need an assistant temporarily.

FREDDY

How do you do?

INGA

Extremely well.

FREDDY

How nice.

IGOR

Are these your bags?

FREDDY

Yes, just the two.