Young Frankenstein

Igor takes the small briefcase and walks OFF. Freddy takes the large suitcase and follows with Inga.

INGA

Did you have a pleasant trip?

FREDDY

Yes, thank you. It wasn't bad.

They follow Igor past two men – Dracula and Wolfman – who are sitting quietly on a platform bench. One of the men wears a huge black cape and has two enormous eye teeth. The other man's face and hands are covered with wolf's hair.

IGOR

(singing to himself)

Sun-rise... Sun-set! Dee-dum... Dee-dum.

Freddy, struggling with his suitcase, stares in polite horror at the two men as he and Inga walk past them.

FREDDY

Good evening.

DRACULA

Good evening.

WOLFMAN

Good evening.

Freddy and Inga continue on, walking under a dangling sign: "TRANSYLVANIA STATION"

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – A FEW MINUTES LATER – NIGHT

A cart, drawn by two horses, travels up a lonely road. Igor is at the reins. In the back, sitting in mountains of hay, are Freddy and Inga.

INGA

Did you ever have a roll in the hay?

FREDDY

(a little nervous)

I'm not sure I... get your drift.

Inga begins to roll herself over and over in the hay.

INGA

You should try it – it's fun.

Somewhat embarrassed, Freddy leans over to speak to Igor.

FREDDY

Incidentally – I don't mean to embarrass you in any way, but I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.

IGOR

What hump?

Freddy tries to recover.

FREDDY

Well... perhaps we can talk about it later.

He turns back to Inga for relief. Just then: a BOLT OF LIGHTNING! Inga comes close to Freddy.

INGA

Sometimes I'm afraid of the lightning.

FREDDY

Just an atmospheric discharge. Nothing to be afraid of.

A HORRIFYING CRY OF A WOLF!

FREDDY

(making a joke)

Werewolf.

IGOR

There.

FREDDY

I beg your pardon?

IGOR

(pointing to the woods)

There wolf!

(pointing up the road)

There castle!

FREDDY

Why are you talking like that?

IGOR

I thought you wanted to.

FREDDY

No.

IGOR

Suit yourself... I'm easy.

(confidentially, indicating Inga)

Better watch out for the wockers.

FREDDY

What wockers?

IGOR

The wockers with the knockers.

FREDDY

Wockers with the knockers???

IGOR

Go ahead, play dumb! You'll lose your sockers and then be fockers.

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING.

IGOR

(pointing to the top of the hill)

Well, there it is...

CUT TO:

THE CASTLE – NIGHT

Illuminated by the lightning.

IGOR (O.S.)

(as we see the castle)

Home!

FREDDY

(to himself)

Home.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. THE CASTLE

As they approach the gigantic front door, FRAU BLUCHER opens a smaller door, within the giant door, and stands on the front stairs to greet them. She holds a lit candelabra.

FRAU BLUCHER

Welcome! I am Frau Blucher.

At the sound of her name, the HORSES REAR.

IGOR

Down! Down! Steady!!

Freddy takes his suitcase and helps Inga out of the cart. He approaches Frau Blucher.

FREDDY

How do you do? I am Dr. Fronkonsteen. This is my assistant. Inga – may I present Frau Blucher.

The HORSES REAR.

IGOR

Down! Get down, you beasts!

FREDDY

I wonder what's got into them?

FRAU BLUCHER

Your rooms are ready, Herr Doctor. If you will follow me, please.

She indicates the small door.

FREDDY

(calling to Igor)

Aye-gor! We'll wait for you inside. Hurry, please!

He turns to the door.

FREDDY

After you Frau Blucher.

The HORSES REAR. Freddy, Inga and Frau Blucher have disappeared through the small door. Igor struggles with the rearing horses.

IGOR

Easy. Easy! What's very sticky and rhymes with shoe?

The horses calm down.

IGOR

That's better.

Igor takes Freddy's briefcase and heads for the door.

IGOR

(to the horses)

I'll be back shortly. Just think of model airplanes.

Igor shuns the smaller door and pulls the handle that opens the giant door. He walks into the castle.

CUT TO:

INT. RECEPTION HALL

Frau Blucher is waiting on a large staircase with Freddy and Inga. Igor comes up to them.

FRAU BLUCHER

Shall we proceed?

They all follow in the aura of Frau Blucher's candlelight. From outside there is a: LOW RUMBLE OF THUNDER. When they reach the top of the stairs, Frau Blucher starts down a corridor. Igor walks up to a light switch and tries it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

As ALL THE LIGHTS COME ON. Igor turns the lights off again, gesturing to Freddy not to say anything because Frau Blucher might be a little bonkers. Inga, Freddy and Igor turn into the corridor and disappear.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FREDDY'S BEDROOM

A fire is going in the fire place. Candles are lit in wall sconces. One wall is devoted to books.

FRAU BLUCHER

I hope you find this comfortable. This was Baron Victor's room.

FREDDY

It seems fine.

FRAU BLUCHER

You'll fine the keys to all the rooms in my cas... all the rooms in your castle on this ring. I'll leave it on the table here.

FREDDY

Does that include the key to the laboratory?

FRAU BLUCHER

You mean... the laboratory? ?

FREDDY

Yes! The laboratory.

FRAU BLUCHER

No! Dr. Frankenstein always kept that separate.

FREDDY

May I have it, please?

A pregnant pause.

FRAU BLUCHER

Of course.

She pulls up on a chain around her neck. At the end of the chain is a key that had been resting against her bosom. She takes it off, kisses it quickly, and sets it on the table.

FREDDY

(examining the bookcase)

There seem to be quite a few books.

FRAU BLUCHER

Yes, this was Victor's... the Baron's medical library.

FREDDY

I see. And where is my grandfather's private library?

FRAU BLUCHER

I don't know what you mean, sir.

FREDDY

Well, there was a public and a private library – he said so in his will. these books are all very general – any doctor might have them in his study.

FRAU BLUCHER

This is the only library I know of.

FREDDY

Surely he kept his notes – his private papers and records in some other place?

FRAU BLUCHER

I think you must be mistaken, sir.

FREDDY

Well... we'll see.