Young Frankenstein

They lift the coffin up... but the operating table remains empty.

FREDDY

Set it down!

They set it down on the table again. Freddy gives the bottom of the coffin (which is now on top), a big WHACK! They lift the coffin up again and there is the "Body." It had been struck.

FREDDY

(looking at the "Body")

Magnificent!

He checks its nails.

FREDDY

Very little decay. With this magnificent specimen for a body, all we need now is an equally magnificent brain.

(he looks at Igor)

You know what to do!

IGOR

I have a pretty good idea.

Igor glances at the movie audience for a moment.

FREDDY

Do you have the name I wrote down?

IGOR

(looking at his sleeve)

Yes. Dr. H. Delbruck.

FREDDY

I want that brain.

IGOR

Was he any good?

FREDDY

Was he any good??? He was the finest natural philosopher, internal medicine diagnostician and chemical therapist of this century.

IGOR

Hmm!

FREDDY

And he wrote seventeen cookbooks.

IGOR

That's not bad.

FREDDY

Can you imagine that brain in this body?

IGOR

I'm getting excited just thinking about it. What if he's not there?

FREDDY

He only died two weeks ago – I'm sure they'll still have him. Hurry now. I'll prepare the body.

IGOR

(starting to leave)

Oh! May I call you 'Master'?

FREDDY

Why?

IGOR

It's always been one of my favorite names.

FREDDY

If you like – just hurry!

IGOR

Thank you, Master.

Freddy rolls up the "Body's" right sleeve. He gazes at the immensity of the hand in amazement and awe.

FREDDY

Look at this hand! Look at these fingers!

A sudden thought twists through his brain. He sets the dead arm up on its elbow, intertwines his own right hand with that of the "Body's," and gets set for an "Indian Arm Wrestle."

Freddy forces the dead arm down – not without some difficulty – and then gives the "Body" a triumphant sneer.

DISSOLVE TO:

A HOSPITAL DOOR

The upper half of the door is made of glass. On the glass is printed:

"BRAIN DEPOSITARY

AFTER 5:00 P.M. SHOVE BRAIN

THROUGH SLOT IN DOOR"

The SHADOW OF A MAN can be SEEN silhouetted from inside the Depository. The Man has a large hump on his back.
 

CUT TO:

INT. DEPOSITORY – NIGHT

LOW THUNDER!

A row of brains in jars, under glass domes, rests on a long, narrow table.

Igor tiptoes slowly, examining the labels on each glass dome that he passes.

"ALBERTUS MAGNUS (Physicist) CORNELIUS AGRIPPA (Natural Philosopher) LAWRENCE TALBOT (Hematologist)"

Then he comes to:

"HANS DELBRUCK (Scientist & Saint)"

Igor approaches the glass dome, lifts it off, and takes the jar containing the brain of Hans Delbruck.

As he turns to go, he sees himself in a Full-length mirror. He drops the jar in fright.

He looks down and sees the gooks mass of brain and glass.

He looks at the Movie Audience.

IGOR

Funny thing is... I tried!

He sweeps some of the mess under the table with his foot.

IGOR

(muttering to himself)

Freud would have a heyday with this. Well...

He looks quickly at the "Brain table", grabs a jar from under the glass dome nearest to him, and leaves.

On the glass dome, whose contents Igor has just taken, is printed:

"DO NOT USE THIS BRAIN!

ABNORMAL"

CUT TO:

THE SKY

An ominous BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

CUT TO:

THE FACE OF THE "BODY"

He has a few cute stitch marks. Electrodes stick out from both sides of his neck.

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy, wearing a long, white surgeon's gown and surgical mask, stands over the "Body," which is strapped across the chest and thighs. Freddy has a thimble on the finger of one hand – a needle and thread in the other.

FREDDY

Finished!

The "Body" is on an operating table, which is in the center of a platform directly below the opening in the ceiling. Inga stands nearby.

INGA

What a beautiful job!

Freddy looks up to the opening in the ceiling.

FREDDY

(shouting)

Ready? ?

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF

Igor stands on the roof, flying two kites in order to attract the lightning bolts. He is wearing rubber boots, rubber gloves, and a rubber whaler's coat and hat.

IGOR

(shouting down)

You're sure you know what you're doing?

FREDDY

Yes! It's all written down in the notes. Tie off the kites and come down!

IGOR

Yes, master. Just don't turn on any radios.

INT. LABORATORY

Freddy hands Inga the needle and thread. Then he grabs an electrical plug, connected to a "battery indicator", and plugs it into two small slits in one of the electrodes in the "Body's" throat... as you would plug in a lamp. He reads the indicator.

FREDDY

Soon, all the electrical secrets of Heaven shall be mine.

INGA

Oh, Frederick... you're not only a great doctor, you're a great... you're almost a...

FREDDY

A god?

INGA

Yes!

FREDDY

I know.

A CRACK OF THUNDER!

Igor comes down a small, spiral staircase from the roof.

IGOR

You'd better hurry – I think it's going to rain.

FREDDY

(to Inga)

All right... elevate me!

INGA

Right here?

FREDDY

Raise the platform, hurry!

INGA

Oh! Yes, Doctor.

She turns a giant wheel on the wall. The platform rises towards the opening in the ceiling, with Freddy and the "Body" on it.

FREDDY

(as he is going up)

The ancient masters promised impossibilities and performed nothing. We shall penetrate into the recesses of nature. We shall ascend into the Heavens. We shall command the thunders of Heaven, mimic the earthquake and even mock the invisible world with its own shadows.

IGOR

Tonight?

FREDDY

Yes! When I give the word – throw the first switch!

IGOR

You've got it, master.

The platform rises higher and higher. RAIN starts to come down on Freddy.

FREDDY

Get ready!

The platform nears the opening.

FREDDY

Get set!

The platform rises through the opening and then stops. Now Freddy is out in the open air, on the roof.

EXT. ROOF

A BOLT OF LIGHTNING and a CRACK OF THUNDER!

FREDDY

Go!!

INT. LABORATORY

Igor throws the first switch.

SPARKS, CURRENTS, DIALS capture our eyes.

EXT. ROOF

Freddy is getting drenched. He tries to check the "battery indicator" plugged into the "Body."