Young Frankenstein

FREDDY

(shouting down)

Throw the second switch!

INT. LABORATORY

IGOR

(throwing the switch)

This guy means business.

Igor looks up in awe.

EXT. ROOF

MORE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.

FREDDY

It's not enough. More! More, do you hear me?

IGOR

What?

FREDDY

More, do you hear me?

IGOR

What?

FREDDY

Throw the third switch!

IGOR

(throwing the switch)

Wait till he sees the bill.

INT. LABORATORY

The Laboratory is an electrical circus.

EXT. ROOF

FREDDY

All right – turn everything off and bring me down!

INT. LABORATORY

Inga turns the giant wheel the other way.

Igor throws back the three switches.

THE LIGHTS RETURN TO NORMAL.

Inga and Igor watch Freddy and the platform descend.

When it reaches the floor, Freddy stands soaked to the skin. ALL EYES ARE ON THE "BODY".

FREDDY

Nothing!

They all stare at:

THE FROZEN FACE of the "Body."

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Freddy, Inga and Igor sit at a long dining room table, set with food and wine. Freddy stares into space.

FREDDY

Reputation. Reputation!

INGA

I thought it was wonderful.

FREDDY

I don't understand – I followed the notes to the letter.

IGOR

You can't win 'em all.

FREDDY

But there must be a reason. This is science, not art.

INGA

Pass the Wildschweinbraten mit Gewürzgurkensosse, please.

Igor looks at Inga, then passes the meat.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

The FROZEN FACE is still frozen. The chest is not breathing. The arm is motionless.

The FINGERS... MOVE!

CUT BACK TO:

DINING ROOM

FREDDY

Let's look once more. I can't stand just sitting here doing nothing. Maybe we left to soon.

Freddy and Igor set up. Inga goes on eating.

CUT TO:

THE LABORATORY

Freddy and Igor walk into the Laboratory and stand next to the "Body."

FREDDY

Cold! Cold and dead!

IGOR

You mustn't take it so hard. Bucharest wasn't built in a day.

Freddy leans his head down, in anguish, and rests it on the chest of the "Body."

The "Body's" FINGER pushes against Freddy's behind. Igor doesn't see it.

FREDDY
(to Igor)

Don't try to cheer me up that way.

IGOR

Well, I don't like to see you mope.

Igor stands next to Freddy.

IGOR

You'll be getting me sad next.

FREDDY

I'm sorry. I don't mean to take out my frustration on you. You've been a great help to me, and I've let you down.

The "Finger" rubs against Igor's behind.

IGOR

(looking up suddenly)

I'm not that sort you know. I appreciate you feelings, but try to show them some other way.

FREDDY

(lifting his head)

You're right! Self-pity never got anyone anywhere. Let's go back and finish our dinner.

They leave.

The "Finger" OPENS AND CLOSES ITS HAND.

CUT TO:

DINING ROOM

Inga, Igor and Freddy are eating dessert.

IGOR

What is this?

FREDDY

Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte.

Seeping in from the laboratory, we HEAR: "MMMMMMmmmmmm!"

FREDDY

(to Igor)

Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts, but this is excellent.

IGOR

Who are you talking to?

FREDDY

To you! You just made a 'yummy' sound, so I thought you liked the dessert.

IGOR

I didn't make a 'yummy' sound – I just asked what it was.

FREDDY

But you did – I just heard it.

IGOR

It wasn't me.

Freddy looks at Inga.

INGA

It wasn't me.

FREDDY

Look here – if it wasn't you, and it wasn't you, and it wasn't me...

Their eyeballs meet in the center of the room. then they all tear downstairs to the Laboratory.

CUT TO:

INT. LABORATORY

They burst into the room. What we may at last call THE MONSTER is straining, tentatively, against the straps across his chest and thighs. his head is raised.

MONSTER

MMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNmmmmmmmm?!?

FREDDY

It's alive!

INGA

Oh, Doctor!

INGA

I think you've done it, master.

FREDDY

Alive! Look at it. I have defeated death!

IGOR

Better not get too close, master. This guy could kill you.

FREDDY

I suppose you're right. Inga! Prepare a sedative, just in case.

Inga goes to a medicine case and prepares a hypodermic. The Monster raises its head and makes little circles with its hands, asking to be "free."

FREDDY

It's trying to talk. it wants us to take off the straps.

IGOR

Don't fall for that one.

FREDDY

But don't you see... the brain of Hans Delbruck is inside this grotesque hulk – pleading with us. I've got to untie it.

IGOR

Careful, master – you never can tell with these chaps.

FREDDY

All right... stand back!

Freddy carefully walks up to the Monster and stands over him. The monster is silent, feeling his way.

FREDDY

Hello there.

MONSTER

MMMMMmmmmmmm.

FREDDY

How's everything?

MONSTER

(just a suggestion of "not so good")

MMMmmmmmmmm.

FREDDY

I'm going to untie you – can you understand that?

MONSTER

(a soft, "crying" SOUND)

MMMmmmm! MMMmmmm!

FREDDY

Yes, I'm going to set you free.

(to Inga)

Is the sedative ready?

INGA

Yes, Doctor.

Freddy takes the strap across the Monster's thighs and unties it. Then he unties the strap across its chest... and steps back. ALL EYES ARE ON THE MONSTER. TINGLY MUSIC. The Monster looks at them all for a moment while he is still lying down. A slightly sly grin comes to his mouth. He rises... slowly, carefully, to a sitting position.

MONSTER

(a low, suspicious groan)

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm.

FREDDY

It's alive. It's – moving! It's – breathing! It's – standing! What is your name?

MONSTER

(thinking for a moment)

... It's.

IGOR

Original.