YOU'VE GOT MAIL

YOU'VE GOT MAIL  

BY
Nora Ephron & Delia Ephron

based on:
The Shop Around the Corner
By Nikolaus Laszlo

 FADE IN ON:

 CYBERSPACE

 We have a sense of cyberspace-travel as we hurtle through a
 sky that's just beginning to get light.  There are a few
 stars but they fade and the sky turns a milky blue and a big
 computer sun starts to rise.

 We continue hurtling through space and see that we're heading
 over a computer version of the New York City skyline.  We
 move over Central Park.  It's fall and the leaves are
 glorious reds and yellows.

 We reach the West Side of Manhattan and move swiftly down
 Broadway with its stores and gyms and movies theatres and
  turn onto a street in the West 80s.

 Hold in front of a New York brownstone.

 At the bottom of the screen a small rectangle appears and the
 words:

 ADDING ART

 As the rectangle starts to fill with color, we see a percentage
 increase from 0% to 100%.  When it hits 100% the image pops and
 we are in real life.

 EXT. NEW YORK BROWNSTONE - DAY

 Early morning in New York. A couple of runners pass on their
 way to Riverside Drive Park.

 We go through the brownstone window into:

 INT. KATHLEEN KELLY'S APARTMENT - DAY

 KATHLEEN KELLY is asleep.  Kathleen, 30, is as pretty and
 fresh as a spring day.  Her bedroom cozy, has a queen-sized
 bed and a desk with a computer on it.  Bookshelves line every
 inch of wall space and overflow with books.  Framed on the
 children's classic.  Madeleine.

 As Kathleen wakes up, her boyfriend FRANK NAVASKY walks into
 the room.  He wears blue jeans and a workshirt.  He's carrying
 the New York Times.

    KATHLEEN
  Good morning.

    FRANK
   (as he reads)
  Listen to this -- the entire work force
  of the state of Virginia had to have
  solitaire removed from their computers --

 Kathleen gets out of bed and goes to brush her teeth in the
 bathroom, and we stay with Frank.

    FRANK
   (continuing)
  -- because they hadn't done any work in
  six weeks.

 Kathleen comes out of the bathroom in her robe.

    KATHLEEN
  Aren't you late?

    FRANK
   (continuing)
  You know what this is, you know what
  we're seeing here?  We're seeing the end
  of Western civilization as we know it.

    KATHLEEN
  This is so sad.

 She tosses him his jacket.

    FRANK
   (points at her computer)
  You think that machine is your friend,
  but it's not.
   (checks his watch)
  I'm late.

 INT. LIVING ROOM - KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

 As Frank walks to the apartment door.  We see a charming room
 with a couch, fireplace, books, and a dining table with a
 typewriter with a cover on it.

    KATHLEEN (O.C.)
  I'll see you tonight.

    FRANK
  Sushi.

    KATHLEEN (O.C.)
  Great.  Bye.

 Frank goes out the door.  It closes.

 Kathleen tiptoes into the hall and looks through the fish-eye
 peephole watching as he goes down the stairs, disappearing
 from sight.  She walks into:

 INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY

 And looks out the front window as Frank walks out onto the
 street and turns toward Broadway.

 He's gone.  Good.

 She sits down at her computer.  An expression of anticipation
 and guilty pleasure as she clicks the mouse.

 INT. COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY

 As we see the logo for America On Line come up and Kathleen's
 code name: Shopgirl.  She logs on and the computer makes all
 its little modem noises as the computer dials the access
 number and connects and we hear the machine:

    COMPUTER
  Welcome.

 And we see Kathleen, listening for the words she's waiting to
 hear:

    COMPUTER (cont'd)
  You've got mail.

 And Kathleen smiles as her mail page comes up:

 INT. COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY

 We see a list of letters:

 Big Cash Op: You can make $$$ in your spare time.  OIL MKT: You
 can turn $20 into $20,000 THIS REALLY WORKS U CAN DO IT:
 Maximize your selling ability nowwwww!!!  NY152 Brinkley

 Kathleen hits the "delete" key and the first three letters --
 all of them junk-mail -- are deleted and drop offscreen.

 Then she selects the "Read Mail" key for "NY 152 Brinkley".

 And the letter comes up:
     To: Shopgirl
  From: NY152
     Re: Brinkley

 Kathleen starts to read the letter aloud:

    KATHLEEN
  Brinkley is my dog.  He loves the streets
  of New York as much as I do --

 And now we hear Kathleen's voice replaced by the voice of
 NY 152, a man named JOE FOX --

    JOE (V.O.)
  -- although he likes to eat bits of pizza
  and bagel off the sidewalk, and I prefer
  to buy them.  Brinkley is a great catcher
  and was offered a tryout on the Mets farm
  team --
   (continued)

 INT. JOE'S APARTMENT - DAY

 A dog is sitting on a large green pillow on the floor. This
 is BRINKLEY.  The pillow has "Brinkley" embroidered on it.
 Brinkley's master, JOE FOX, a great-looking guy, full of
 charm and irony, comes into the kitchen and pours himself
 some orange juice.  He's half-dressed.

    JOE (cont'd)
  -- but he chose to stay with me so that
  he could spend 18 hours a day sleeping on
  a large green pillow the size of an inner
  tube.  Don't you love New York in the
  fall?  It makes me want to buy school
  supplies.  I would send you a bouquet of
  newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your
  name and address.  On the other hand,
  this not knowing has its charms.

    VOICE
  Darling --

    JOE
  Mmmmmhmmm --

 Joe's girlfriend PATRICIA EDEN, in Armani head to toe, comes
 into the kitchen and turns on the $2000 espresso machine,
 which starts grinding beans.  She's carrying the morning
 papers.

    PATRICIA
  I'm late.
   (indicating the newspaper)
  Random House fired Dick Atkins.  Good
  riddance.  Murray Chilton died.  Which
  makes one less person I'm not speaking
  to --
   (she drains a cup of espresso
    as a second starts to come out
    of the machine)
  Vince got a great review.  He'll be
  insufferable.  Tonight,  PEN dinner --

    JOE
  Am I going?

    PATRICIA
  You promised.

    JOE
  Can't I just give them money?  That's the
  cause?  Free Albanian writers?  I'm for
  that.

 Patricia drains another cup of espresso, looks at him.

        JOE
  All right, I'll go.  You're late.

        PATRICIA
  I know I know I know.

 She tears out of the kitchen and the door slams behind her.

 Hold on Joe, listening as he hears the elevator door open and
 close on the landing outside.

 IT. JOE'S DEN - DAY

 As he comes in and sits down at his laptop computer and logs
 on.

        JOE & THE COMPUTER (TOGETHER)
  Welcome... You've got mail.

 And as he starts to read his letter, we hear:

        KATHLEEN (V.O.)
  I like to start my notes to you as if
  we're already in the middle of a
  conversation.  I pretend that we're
  the oldest and dearest friends --
  as opposed to what we actually are,
  people who don't know each other's names
  and met in a Chat Room where we both
  claimed we'd never been before.

 INT. JOE'S ELEVATOR - DAY

 As Joe, dressed for work, takes the elevator down with his
 elevator man CHARLIE.  There's a certain amount of Good
 morning, etc., as the elevator goes down and the voice-over
 continues:

    KATHLEEN (V.O., CONTINUES)
  What will he say today, I wonder.  I turn
  on my computer, I wait impatiently as it
  boots up.

 EXT. RIVERSIDE DRIVE - DAY

 As Joe comes out of his building.

    KATHLEEN (V.O., CONTINUES)
  I go on line, and my breath catches in my
  chest until I hear three little words:
  You've got mail.

 And the camera now pans from 152 Riverside uptown to:

 EXT. NEW YORK BROWNSTONE - MORNING

    KATHLEEN (V.O., CONTINUES)
  I hear nothing, not even a sound on the
  streets of New York, just the beat of my
  own heart.  I have mail.  From you.

 EXT. BROADWAY - MORNING

 As Kathleen comes onto Broadway at the corner of 83rd Street
 and starts downtown.

 Through a long lens we can see Joe, walking into blocks behind
 her.

 As Kathleen and Joe make their way down Broadway we see the
 West Side of Manhattan in the morning.  Mothers and fathers
 taking their kids to school, people on their way to work,
 dogs being walked.  School buses picking up kids, bakery
 trucks dropping off brown bags of bread in the doorframes of
 unopened restaurants.

 Kathleen stops at a newsstand, says good morning to the
 newsstand dealer, and picks up a New York Times.