YOU'VE GOT MAIL

        JOE (V.O.)
  Dear friend: I cannot tell you what
  happened to me last night, but I beg you
  from the bottom of my heart to forgive me
  for not being there.

 He deletes "for not being there."

 Then types again, after "to forgive me".

        JOE (V.O.)
  -- for what happened.  I feel terrible
  that you found yourself in a situation
  that caused you additional pain.  But I'm
  absolutely sure that whatever you said
  last night was provoked, even deserved.
  And everyone says things they regret when
  they're worried or stressed.  You were
  expecting to see someone you trusted and
  met the enemy instead.  The fault is
  mine.
   (continued)

 EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY

 As Kathleen and Christina walk down the street together.

        JOE (V.O., cont'd)
  Someday I'll explain everything.
  Meanwhile, I'm still here.  Talk to me.

        CHRISTINA
  Did he say anything about meeting again?

        KATHLEEN
  Not really.  It doesn't matter.  We'll
  just be like George Bernard Shaw and Mrs.
  Patrick Campbell and write letters our
  whole lives --

 They go into an apartment building.

 INT. BIRDIE'S APARTMENT - DAY

 A large rent-controlled West Side apartment.  Birdie is
 pouring tea.  There's a plate of cookies.

 Christina is looking at the picture of Birdie as a young
 woman, dressed in a sort of Carmen Miranda getup.

        CHRISTINA
  Where was this taken, Birdie?

        BIRDIE
  Seville.

        KATHLEEN
  When you had the thunderbolt?

        BIRDIE
  Yes.  What did you decide, dearie?

        KATHLEEN
  Close.  We're going to close.

        CHRISTINA
  Close.

        KATHLEEN
  Although it feels like such a failure.
  It feels like I'm quitting.  It feels
  like... Mom...

 She closes her eyes.

 Birdie sits down on the loveseat next to Kathleen, puts her
 arms around her.  Hold on them.

        BIRDIE
  Keeping the store open doesn't keep your
  mother alive, although sometimes I think
  we all think it does.

 Christina looks over at the picture of Birdie.

        CHRISTINA
  Who was it, Birdie?  That you had the
  thunderbolt over?

 Birdie shakes her head.  She's not going to tell them.

        CHRISTINA (cont'd)
  It's so romantic.

        BIRDIE
  But it wasn't meant to be.

        CHRISTINA
  Why not?

        BIRDIE
  He ran Spain.

        CHRISTINA
  Spain?

        BIRDIE
  The country.  He ran it.  That was his
  job.  And then he died.  Just as well.

 INT. SONY LINCOLN SQUARE THEATRE - NIGHT

 As Frank and Kathleen go up the escalator, on their way to a
 movie.

        FRANK
  She fell in love with Generalissimo
  Franco?

        KATHLEEN
  Don't say that.  We don't know that for
  sure.

        FRANK
  Who else could it have been?  It was
  probably around 1960 --

        KATHLEEN
  I mean, it's not like he was something
  normal, like a socialist or an anarchist
  or something --

        FRANK
  It happened in Spain.  People do really
  stupid things in foreign countries.

        KATHLEEN
  Absolutely.  They buy leather jackets,
  they go see Flamenco, they ride in
  gondolas, they eat in restaurants where
  guitarists sing Malaguena sola Rosa, but
  they don't fall in love with fascist
  dictators.

 They enters one of the theatres.

 INT. THEATER - CONTINUOUS

 As they find seats and sit down.  A trailer is playing.

        KATHLEEN
  Birdie is a very kind person, she's
  practically my surrogate mother.

        FRANK
  Well she's out of her mind.

        KATHLEEN
  She is not.

        FRANK
  I could never ever be with anyone who
  doesn't take politics as seriously as I
  do.

 The person in front of them turns around.

        PERSON IN FRONT OF THEM
  Do you mind?

        FRANK
  A hot dog is singing.  You need quiet
  while a hot dog is singing?

 The two of them sit there.

        KATHLEEN
  I have something to tell you.  I didn't
  vote.

        FRANK
  What?

        KATHLEEN
  In the last mayoral election, when Rudy
  Giuliani was running against Ruth
  Messinger, I went to get a manicure and
  forgot to vote.

        FRANK
  Since when do you get manicures?

        KATHLEEN
  Oh, I suppose you could never be with a
  woman who gets manicures.

        FRANK
  Forget it.  It's okay.  I forgive you.

        PERSON IN FRONT OF THEM
  Shhhhhh.

        KATHLEEN
  You forgive me.

 Hold on them a beat.

 Kathleen stands and walks out of the theatre.

 INT. SONY LINCOLN SQUARE THEATRE ESCALATOR - NIGHT

 Kathleen on the down escalator.  Frank scrambling to catch up
 with her.

        FRANK
  What's going on?

 Kathleen's upset.

        FRANK (cont'd)
  Hey.  What is it?

 EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - NIGHT

 As they walk uptown.

        FRANK
  Look, this has been a big week, you're
  closing the store --

        KATHLEEN
  It's not that, Frank, really it's not.
  It's just... Frank...

        FRANK
  I know, that was terrible of me.

        KATHLEEN
  What was?

        FRANK
  To jump all over you when I'm the one
  who's really...  Oh, God, I don't know
  how to say this --

        KATHLEEN
  What is it?

 EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - NIGHT

 As we see Kathleen and Frank being served drinks in a glassed-
 in extension of a restaurant.

 INT. COLUMBUS AVENUE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

 As Kathleen looks at Frank, waiting for him to begin.

        FRANK
  You're a wonderful person, Kathleen.

        KATHLEEN
  So are you.

        FRANK
  And I'm honored that you want to be with
  me because you would never be with anyone
  who wasn't truly worthy --

        KATHLEEN
  I feel exactly the same way about you.

        FRANK
  Oh, God, don't say that, please, that
  just makes it worse.

        KATHLEEN
  What?
   (he shakes his head)
  You don't love me?

 Frank shakes his head no.

        KATHLEEN
  Me either.

        FRANK
  You don't love me?

 Kathleen shakes her head no.

        FRANK
  But we're so right for each other.

        KATHLEEN
  I know.

 A long beat.

        KATHLEEN
  That woman on television, right?
  Sidney-Ann.

 Frank nods.

        FRANK
  I mean, nothing's happened or anything.

        KATHLEEN
  I think she's a Republican.

        FRANK
  I can't help myself.

 Kathleen pats him.