YOU'VE GOT MAIL

 The place is packed.  There are hundreds of young Jewish New
 Yorkers singing folk songs and dancing the hora.  The Rabbi
 is dancing among them.

 Patricia sees the rabbi, leading the dance.

 The rabbi whirls madly toward her, like a human dreidel.

        RABBIT
  Shabbat shalom!

 He grabs Patricia's hand, and to her surprise, they go
 whirling off together.

 INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY

 Kathleen at the computer, typing.

        KATHLEEN (V.O.)
  I have been thinking about this and
  I think we should meet.

 She clicks the send button and then exits from American On
 Line.

 On her computer screen we now see the standard screen with
 several icons: American On-Line, Word, Recycle Bin, etc.

 She clicks Word.

 She goes to File: New.

 There are several choices of format.

 She stares at the choices.  Then she clicks Book format.

 A blank page appears in the computer.

 She starts to type:  "Once upon a time there was a little
 girl named..."

 She pauses for a moment and looks around the room.  She sees
 the flowers that Joe brought her.

 And then she types: "Daisy."

 As she goes on typing...

 INT. JOE' BOAT - NIGHT

 On Joe typing.

        JOE (V.O.)
  We should meet.  And we will meet.  But
  I'm in the middle of a project that
  needs...
   (he pauses to think of the
    right word)
  ... tweaking.

 A look of calculation on his face.

 EXT. STARBUCKS - DAY

 We can see Kathleen through the window, drinking a cup of
 coffee.

 And now we see Joe walk into Starbucks.  He waves at her,
 pretending surprise at seeing her.  Has he been watching the
 store and waiting for her to come in?  We'll never know.

 INT. STARBUCKS - A FEW MINUTES LATER

 He's sitting next to her at the counter in the window.

        JOE
  Tweaking?

        KATHLEEN
  That's what he said.

        JOE
  He's probably married.

        KATHLEEN
  That's a terrible thing to say.  It's not
  possible.

        JOE
  Have you asked him if he's married?  Have
  you said, "Are you married?"

        KATHLEEN
  No.

 Joe looks at her, shrugs.

 INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

 As she types:

        KATHLEEN (V.O.)
  I know this is probably a little late to
  be asking, but are you married?

 INT. JOE'S OFFICE - NIGHT

 As he answers:

        JOE (V.O.)
  Am I married?  What kind of a question is
  that?  How can you ask me that?  Don't
  you know me at all?  Oh wait, I get it.
  Your friends are telling you the reason
  we haven't met is that I'm married.  Am I
  right?

 INT. SIDEWALK CAFE - ANOTHER DAY

 Kathleen and Joe having nachos.

        JOE
  So he didn't exactly answer.

        KATHLEEN
  He did too.  He nailed me.  He knew
  exactly what I was up to.  Which is just
  like him.

        JOE
  But he didn't exactly answer, did he?
  Did he?

        KATHLEEN
  No.

        JOE
  Maybe he's fat.

        KATHLEEN
  I don't care about that.

        JOE
  You don't care that he might be one of
  those guys who's so fat he has to be
  removed from his house with a crane?

        KATHLEEN
  That's very unlikely.

        JOE
  Why else do you think he's putting off
  meeting you?  Although... maybe that's
  not it.  Maybe...

        KATHLEEN
  What?

        JOE
  Never mind.

        KATHLEEN
  What????

        JOE
  He could be waiting til he's paroled.

        KATHLEEN
  Oh, you won't believe this, there was a
  moment when George thought he might be
  the rooftop killer, which was completely
  ridiculous --

 Her voice trails off, as she considers whether it could be
 true.

        JOE
  What's his handle?

 She shakes her head.

        JOE
  Come on, I'm not going to write him.  Is
  that what you think?

        KATHLEEN
  NY 152.

        JOE
  One five two.  One hundred fifty two.
  Very interesting.  He's 152 years old.
  He has 152 hairs remaining on his head.
  He's had 152 moles removed and now he
  has 152 pockmarks.

 EXT. FARMER'S MARKET ON BROADWAY - LATER

 As they walk past tables of bread and flowers, etc.

        JOE
  His combined college board scores.

        KATHLEEN
  His IQ.

        JOE
  The number of women he's slept with.

        KATHLEEN
  The number of times he's seen The
  Godfather.

        JOE
  That's the first good thing I've heard
  about him.

        KATHLEEN
  His address.  No, no, no.  He would never
  do anything that prosaic.

 On Joe, looking a little wounded.

        KATHLEEN (cont'd)
  The only thing I really care about
  besides the married thing... and the
  jail thing... is the boat thing.

        JOE
  The boat thing?

        KATHLEEN
  I could never be with anyone who has
  a boat.

        JOE
  Oh.

        KATHLEEN
  So that clinches it.  We'll never be
  together.  I'll take care of these.

 He picks up a mango, squeezes it.

        JOE (cont'd)
  I could never be with anyone who likes
  Joni Mitchell.
   (singing, imitating Joni)
  "It's cloud's illusions I recall, I
  really don't know clouds at all." 
  What does that mean?

 Joe waits for Kathleen to say she likes Joni Mitchell.

 But Kathleen doesn't say anything.

 She starts intently picking over apples, trying to find some
 she wants.

        JOE
  How's your book coming?

 EXT. BROADWAY - DAY

 As they walk away from the market, going uptown.

        KATHLEEN
  There's a children's book editor I know,
  from the store, and she's excited to
  read it.  When I finish it.  Who would
  ever have thought I'd write?  I mean,
  if I didn't have all this free time, I
  would never have discovered --

 She stops, realizing what she's saying.

        KATHLEEN (cont'd)
  The truth is, he was the one who made me
  start thinking about writing --