YOU'VE GOT MAIL

    KATHLEEN
   (by way of explanation)
  They're opening a Foxbooks around the
  corner.

    ANNABEL
  Foxbooks!  My Daddy --

    JOE
   (gently putting his hand over
    her mouth)
  -- likes to buy at discount.  Don't tell
  anyone that, Annabel, it's nothing to be
  proud of --

    MATT
   (spelling)
  F-O-X.

    KATHLEEN
  That's amazing.  You can spell fox.  Can
  you spell dog?

    MATT
  F-O-X.

        JOE
  Matt, look at this dinosaur book.
  Wouldn't you like a dinosaur book?
  Annabel, maybe you could read this to
  Matt while I wrap things up here.
   (moves them to a corner, to
    them quickly)
  Sit down, read, and don't listen to
  anything I say.

 Returns to counter and gives Kathleen some cash.

        JOE
  And the dinosaur book too.

        KATHLEEN
  The world is not driven by discounts,
  believe me.  I've been in business
  forever.  I started helping my mother
  here after school when I was six years
  old.  I used to watch her, and it wasn't
  that she was selling books, it was that
  she was helping people become whoever
  they were going to turn out to be.  When
  you read a book as a child it becomes
  part of your identity in a way that no
  other reading in your life does.
   (stops herself)
  I guess I've gotten carried away.

        JOE
  You have, and you've made me feel...

 He can't finish the sentence.  He looks at her and sees,
 behind her on the shelf, a picture of a woman who is
 unmistakably Kathleen's mother, with a young Kathleen.

        JOE (cont'd)
  Enchanting, your mother was enchanting.

        KATHLEEN
  She was.  How did you know that?

        JOE
  Lucky guess.

        KATHLEEN
  Anyway.  She left the store to me, and
  I'm going to leave it to my daughter.

        JOE
  How old is your daughter now?

        KATHLEEN
  Oh, I'm not married.  But eventually.

 She smiles at Joe...

        KATHLEEN
  So Foxbooks can...

        KATHLEEN AND GEORGE TOGETHER
  Go to hell.

        KATHLEEN
   (handing him his books)
  Here you go.

        JOE
  We ready?

 Annabel and Matt join him at the counter.  Kathleen gives them
 each a lollipop.

        ANNABEL
  Bye, Kathleen.

        KATHLEEN
  Goodbye, Annabel.  Bye, Matt.  What
  about cat?  Can you spell cat?

        MATT
  F-O-X.

 INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

 Someplace like the auditorium at the Museum of Broadcasting.
 PATRICIA EDEN, Joe's girlfriend, who is the editor-in-chief
 of a New York publishing house called Eden Books, is standing
 at a podium at a sales conference.  In the audience are sales
 reps, wholesalers, etc.  There's a screen behind her with
 pictures of the authors being flashed on it as she speaks.

        PATRICIA (cont'd)
  And now, the book you've all been waiting
  for, the book it's been my dreams to
  publish.  The legendary Veronica Grant
  has written her memoirs --

 There's a burst of applause as a photograph of Veronica Grant
 flashes on screen.

        PATRICIA (cont'd)
  -- and I'm happy to report it is just
  crammed with tragedy.
   (she laughs gaily)
  Just kidding, but seriously, it's all
  here: poverty, addiction, divorce,
  tracheotomies --

 We see pictures of Veronica at eight with her sharecropper
 family, Veronica at 14 with her first child, Veronica with a
 series of husbands, Veronica in a wheelchair, etc.

        PATRICIA (cont'd)
  -- her third husband beat her up, hip
  replacement, and an amazing face lift
  where all the injected fat fell to her
  chin.

 Now we see a blow-up of the book's jacket, with a picture of
 Veronica on it and the title: "Am I Rising from Ashes, or Did
 I Just Forget to Dust?"

        PATRICIA (cont'd)
  This book is fabulous.  And even if it
  weren't, it would sell like crazy,
  because Veronica is going to plug it to
  death on every talk show in America.
  This book...

 Patricia bursts into tears.

        PATRICIA (cont'd)
  I'm sorry.  I can't talk about it without
  crying.  Veronica and I have so much in
  common -- well, not all the sad parts --
  but we were both famous by the time we
  were 29 and, believe me, that's rough.
   (wipes her nose with a Kleenex,
    pulling herself together)
  Anyway, I just want to say that I'm
  especially thrilled to be publishing it.
  Veronica lives in my building and we met
  in the elevator.  By the time we had
  traveled from the eighth floor to the
  first, we had a deal.  First printing:
  one million copies.

 Everyone applauds enthusiastically.

 INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - A SHORT WHILE LATER

 Patricia is leaving, still surrounded by colleagues and sales
 reps congratulating her.  She is the soul of graciousness.
 Her assistant, Sarah, comes up.

        SARAH
   (quickly)
  You have a dentist appointment in twenty
  minutes.  So you should leave soon...

        PATRICIA
  What's my car number?

        SARAH
  Car?  You didn't say anything about a car
  --

        PATRICIA
  Are you an idiot?  Of course I need a car.
  God!

 She walks toward the exit.

 EXT. 57TH STREET - CONTINUOUS

 Patricia in the pouring rain, trying to hail a cab.  She
 spots one across the street.

        PATRICIA
  Taxi!  Taxi!  Taxi!

 She whistles -- a longshoreman's whistle.

 The cab makes a U-turn, but instead of stopping for Patricia
 it stops about twenty feet ahead for a MAN in an overcoat who
 gets into it.

        PATRICIA
  Excuse me -- what are you doing?  This is
  my taxicab.
   (to the driver)
  Don't take him.  I am telling you right
  now, and I am memorizing your number,
  don't take him.
   (to the man)
  Who the fuck do you think you are?

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  Are you going uptown?

        PATRICIA
  Yes.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  Get in.  I'll drop you.

 INT. TAXI - A MINUTE LATER

 As the cab turns onto Eighth Avenue, starts uptown.

 Patricia is dialing her cell phone.  She's elaborately
 ignoring the man who stole her cab.

        PATRICIA
  Veronica, it's Patricia, you should have
  been there, it was unbelievable, we're
  going to sell truckloads of your book.
  Call me.

 She hangs up, folds up the phone, puts it back in her purse
 as the cab moves on.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  Are you an editor?

        PATRICIA
  Yes.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  I am a rabbi.

        PATRICIA
  Oh, my God, I said fuck to a rabbi.  I'm
  sorry.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  I hope you don't mind my asking, but are
  you Jewish?

        PATRICIA
  Yes.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  You should come to our temple.

        PATRICIA
  I'm not really religious.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  Oh, I am surprised, you seem like a very
  religious person.

        PATRICIA
  You're kidding, right?

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  We are at West End Avenue and 83rd
  Street.  Every Friday night, we have a
  joyous time, everyone dancing, everyone
  singing.  Also some wisdom.  Perhaps you
  have heard of us, we are known as The
  Singles Temple.

 He smiles at her.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  It's a very good place to calm down.

 The cab stops.

        MAN IN OVERCOAT
  Oh, look, I am already here.  Very nice
  to meet you.
   (gives the cabbie money)
  Take this woman to her destination.

 He gets out.  Closes the door.  A beat too late:

        PATRICIA
  Goodbye.

 EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

 Frank comes up the stoop.

 INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

 Kathleen is dressed up for a party.

 Frank walks in, looks meaningfully at her.

        FRANK
  I saw him.  I actually saw him.

        KATHLEEN
  Who?

        FRANK
  I can't believe it.  I saw William
  Spungeon.

        KATHLEEN
  I thought he was in Mexico.

        FRANK
  Maybe he's in Mexico, but today he was in
  New York.  The most brilliant and
  reclusive novelist in the history of the
  world is here, in this neighborhood.  He
  may be living on this very block.

        KATHLEEN
  Where did you see him?

        FRANK
  I was on the subway --

 INT. SUBWAY - DAY

        FRANK (V.O.)
  -- and this musician got onto the train --

 Frank is sitting on the subway, reading the Village Voice.
 The door between the cars opens and a man playing the
 clarinet enters the car.

 No one looks up except Frank.

        FRANK (V.O.)
  -- and I suddenly saw him, sitting
  directly across from me doing the
  crossword puzzle.

        KATHLEEN (V.O.)
  How'd you know it was him?

        FRANK (V.O.)
  He looked exactly the same as his high
  school yearbook picture, which happens to
  be the last photograph ever taken of him.

 Frank takes out his billfold on the subway, pulls out a piece
 of paper.

 CLOSE UP - FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER

 As Frank unfolds a newspaper clipping of a yearbook picture
 of William Spungeon at 17.

 Frank compares the photo of Spungeon with the person sitting
 across the way.  They don't look remotely alike except that
 the boy in the picture and the man on the subway are both
 wearing the same style glasses.

 The subway stops at 79th Street, and William Spungeon gets off.
 Frank follows.

 EXT. BROADWAY - CONTINUOUS

 As Frank comes out of the subway station and looks around.

        FRANK
  So I followed him.

 Frank sees Spungeon cross 79th.  He follows.

 EXT. H&H BAGELS - CONTINUOUS

 Frank follows Spungeon, who hurries into H&H Bagels passing a
 HOMELESS MAN holding a paper cup at the door.

        FRANK (V.O.)
  He went into H&H and bought a bagel
  with everything.

 EXT. H&H BAGELS - A MINUTE LATER

 As Spungeon leaves the store, passing the paper cup, which we
 now realize that Frank, in dark glasses, is holding.

 Spungeon drops his newspaper in a garbage container.

        FRANK (V.O.)
  He dropped his crossword into the
  garbage and I rescued it.

 Frank plucks the puzzle from the trashcan, follows Spungeon.

 INT. SPORTING GOOD STORE - CONTINUOUS

 Spungeon at the counter in the shoe store.

        FRANK (V.O.)
  Then he went into a sporting good store
  and bought tube socks, 6 pair for $7.99.

 We see Frank, peeking out at him from behind a stack of
 running pants.  Suddenly he's distracted by a couple of
 joggers.

        KATHLEEN (V.O.)
  William Spungeon and tube socks.

        FRANK (V.O.)
  I know.  I don't want to dwell on it.

 Frank looks back at the counter.  Spungeon's gone.

        FRANK (V.O.)
  And then I lost him.

 INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT

 Frank waves the crossword puzzle in front of Kathleen.

        FRANK
  Do you know what this is worth?

 He takes an empty instant-frame from the closet, puts the
 puzzle into it and sets it next to the typewriters.

 INT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

 As the two of them eat dinner.

        FRANK
  What I was thinking as I was trailing him
  was that eventually I would have the
  courage to say hello to him, you know,
  not in a horrible, intrusive or slavering
  fan-slash-acolyte kind of way, but more
  like, "Hi."  "How ya doing?"  "Have you
  ever thought about trading up in the sock
  area?"  "Who knows, maybe he's read my
  work -- and then we'd become friends, and
  eventually I'd introduce him to you --
  you know how much he loves children's
  books, there's a whole long section in
  Relativity's Smile about The Wizard of Oz
  -- and then maybe he'd come out of hiding
  so he could help save the store.

        KATHLEEN
  What are you talking about?

        FRANK
  From Foxbooks.  I mean, if things got
  tough, he could help rally support --

        KATHLEEN
  It's never going to get to that.  The
  store is fine.

 EXT. STREET - NIGHT

 As they walk along after dinner.

        FRANK
  I don't even know why you would say that?

        KATHLEEN
  Neither do I.  It just flew out of my
  mouth.

        FRANK
  There's enough business for us all.

 INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

 As they go up in an elevator.

        KATHLEEN
  I mean, we're fine.

        FRANK
  You're more than fine, you're absolutely
  fine.

        KATHLEEN
  We're fine.

 The elevator opens onto: